Between Two Slayers
by Katherine-Magnolia
Summary: There's only supposed to be one Slayer at a time... but Buffy has to get used to there being a second one working with her. Not only that, but eventually she has to accept the fact that she's falling for her... BuffyFaith. Chapter NINETEEN up.
1. Don't Need A Teammate

"It's okay, I got it. You're, uh, Buffy, right?" the dark-haired girl, who seemed to have no problems at all with beating on a vampire, asked.

All Buffy could do was nod, not fully sure of how she should be reacting to this latest development. Sure, Sunnyville was the capital of strange things happening, but this was off the wall even by its standards. It got even stranger a few minutes later when, after introducing herself as Faith and Oz had remarked that this dark-haired girl must be a Slayer, the girl did indeed dust the vamp.

"Thanks, B," Faith said with a toss of her hair. "Couldn't have done it without you." She then walked right back into the club, leaving Buffy standing, completely at a loss.

"D-did that...?" Willow asked, motioning with her hands.

"I think there's a new Slayer in town," Oz repeated.

"You said that already," Willow pointed out.

Oz shrugged. "I thought saying it again might make it feel more real. But... not really."

Buffy blinked at both of them, her brain not yet forming words. What sort of beginning for a new school year was this?

* * *

It was never going to happen; Sunnydale would have a completely vampire-free day before it happened. _Willow_ would date a _girl_ before it happened. And when Buffy voiced these beliefs aloud she got looks from everyone that stated their views very clearly. Views that just so happened to clash far too drastically with her own for comfort.

"I'm not going to do it, Giles, and there is no way in hell that you are going to be able to make me," she said for the tenth time, folding her arms across her chest. "You may be my Watcher, but you're not in complete charge of everything I do."

"Has she been reading books again?" Xander asked in a stage whisper. "Because she's staring to use that whole sentence structure thing the teachers talk about."

Cordelia elbowed Xander in the side. "She's trying to sound smart, because she thinks that that will get her her way with Giles. Isn't that right?"

Buffy glared at the brunette. "I really don't like you right now."

Cordelia sniffed. "And what makes you think that I care? Or that you ever like me, for that matter. Because that'd just make my skin crawl."

"I take it back," Buffy growled, unfolding her arms. "I'll work with Faith so long as you get that... that _thing_ away from me and out of my hair!"

"Like I'd ever want to be in _your_ hair," Cordelia shot back. "You could probably find style tips from the 80's in there, it's so outdated." She slammed the book she had been reading shut and stalked towards the exit, stopping only when she realized that Xander wasn't with her. Glaring at him she gave her head a little jerk. Xander, looking like a very miserable puppy, gave Buffy an apologetic glance before gathering his own books and scurrying off after his girlfriend.

"Everything is going wrong!" Buffy shouted, throwing the nearest book at the wall. Giles, who happened to be standing by that wall, had to duck to avoid being hit by it. Judging by the dent it left in the wood it was a very good thing that he had done so. "Sorry, Giles, I didn't mean to-"

The British librarian simply held up a finger as he retrieved the book and checked for any damages. Upon finding nothing but a slightly bent cover he turned his glare on Buffy, who had good enough sense despite her temper to take a step back. "You never throw books," he said quietly. "No matter how upset you are, you never throw books." He cleared his throat. "Now, um, as to the matter with, ah, Faith. You have no, ah, no choice there at all. She is, uh, here and we have to accept that. Which, um, means that all of us, especially, ah, you, will have to make changes. Think of her as, um, your teammate."

Buffy's nostrils flared. "I do _not_ want to think of her as my teammate!"

"And why is, uh, why is that?"

Buffy looked completely caught off-guard by that question. It definitely wasn't one that she had thought anyone was going to ask her, and thus she had no planned out response for it. This was obvious by how long it took her to attempt stuttering out an answer. "Because... well, b-because I shouldn't have to. _I'm_ the Slayer here, and I've done pretty damn well on my own! Who does she think she is? Waltzing in like she owns the place and everyone should just stare and marvel at her and her accent and stories and... a-and the way she acts or moves, like she owns the world and all eyes should be on her." There was a slight flush working its way up Buffy's neck as she started to pace. "The way she flirts with everyone at The Bronze! You should have seen her the other night, Giles, working the room like she owned the place and everyone in it. One guy on each side and not the time to help me out when I actually needed it. No, no I won't let her help me on any sort of regular basis and that's final."

"That, well, Buffy that made no, uh, no sense at all," Giles pointed out as gently as he could.

"He's right on the money there, B," Faith remarked as she strolled into the room, plopping into a chair and lifting her feet onto the table. "Though I'd agree more if I knew what it was we're talking about here. What's the scoop?"

"There _is_ no scoop," Buffy snarled, sounding even more irritated than she had when Cordelia was taunting her. "We were just talking about how-"

"About how you should, uh, patrol together, um, tonight," Giles interjected.

"Sounds groovy," Faith said, shrugging as she stood back up. "Time, place?"

"Midnight at the Bronze," was Giles quick reply.

"See ya then and there, B," Faith called over her shoulder, the door swinging shut before Buffy could say any of the things going through her head.

"I don't really like you right now," she finally managed to say to Giles, her heart not really in her glare.

Her Watcher simply patted her on the shoulder before going back to his books, leaving Buffy to try and figure out a good answer for the next time someone asked her why she didn't want to work side-by-side with Faith. At that moment, the one topping the list was how Faith just walked in and got things to go her way without really having to try. Although being called 'B' was running a damn close second.

* * *

"This isn't very interesting at all," Faith muttered, twirling her stake and fake thrusting it towards Buffy. "I mean really, B, after the last couple nights I thought there'd be more to it here than wanderin' and finding nothing. But I ain't seen nothing all night 'cept the trees, graves, and you." She glanced over at the other Slayer, noting how she clenched her teeth before replying. _Looks like I am managing to get under her skin after all. Here I thought her calm might be unshakable._

"Some nights are less active," Buffy said. "It just depends on who decides to do what when, or who gets hungry. Looks like no one is tonight. I'm not one to go looking for trouble when it hasn't found me first." A hopeful look passed across her face. "If you're that bored you could always go back, you know, looks like I've got everything under control tonight."

"Awww, now why would I do that?" Faith asked, only just managing to keep the gloating smile off her face. This other Slayer wasn't as perfect as Faith's Watcher had always claimed she was! Maybe she would be able to find a way to measure up to Buffy after all, even if she was the Slayer who should never have existed. "Red told me stories about how you loved to patrol with that Kendra girl when she popped up for a visit, so why not me too? After all, I am her replacement."

"You are _not_ her replacement," Buffy all but growled, turning to fix her glare on Faith. "I liked Kendra, she was a good person, and I don't want to hear you talk about her ever again."

Faith blinked, surprised at just how serious Buffy looked. "Alright, alright," she muttered, holding her hands up as though in surrender. "If you're gonna snap like a starved dog going after a bit of meat then I'll never bring it up again." She returned her stake to the holder on the inside of her jacket and shoved her hands into her pockets, determined to not say another word to Buffy until she spoke first. Sure, she wanted to prove that Buffy wasn't perfect, but she didn't want the blonde to hate her. _Whoa, hold up there! Since when have I given a rat's ass if anyone hates me or not? Especially not someone as idolized by the Watchers as this preppy snip?_ Yet she did care...

After another twenty minutes, when the sky was beginning to get that faint tinge of light, Buffy broke the uncomfortable silence. "Breakfast?"

"That's what you eat?" Faith replied, unsure of what exactly was meant by the question.

Buffy rolled her eyes at her. "Yes, it is. But what I meant was, 'do you want to get breakfast with me?' It's an offer."

"You paying?"

"Yeah, sure."

It wasn't the best way to end the night, but it did leave Faith feeling a little less like she was completely despised.


	2. Slowly It Changes

"You are obsessed with her," Willow said calmly, not even looking up from her textbook.

Buffy, who had been right at the verge of her full rant, went completely silent. She turned slowly to face her best friend, not quite sure if she had actually heard her right. "Excuse me?" she asked, her voice nearly cracking. "You... I... what?"

Highlighting a definition, Willow repeated, "You are obsessed with her."

"No, no I think you're wrong." Buffy shook her head, going back to pacing across Willow's room. "You cannot be obsessed with someone who irritates you as much as Faith does me. I mean, just look at her! From the way she talks to the way she walks there is nothing about her that doesn't make me want to grind my teeth."

"Yes you can, as evidenced by the fact that you are."

"Why don't you tell me why the hell you think that, exactly?"

Sighing, Willow looked up from her book. "You talk about her all of the time," she said, folding down one of the fingers she was holding up. "If you're not talking about her, then it's because you're with her." Another finger went down. "And, if the two of you are in the same room then what do you focus on? Her." Willow's hand was a fist. "You don't have to like someone to be obsessed with them, but if you keep on like this then you will be liking her before too long."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Buffy practically shouted, holding her hands up in front of her. "Back it up there, Will, I do _not_ like girls like that."

Willow rolled her eyes. "I didn't mean like _that_, you goof. I meant that you're going to like her as a friend before too long, or even just respect her for her skills. She's not like Cordelia," The red-head paused to make a gagging noise. "She's probably more like you then you'd ever want to know. So just, go with it. And please, please, please, _please_ stop ranting about her every time she's not around? I'm going to get a headache, and I have to study for my next test. Which, by the way, you should be doing too. Sit down and I'll let you borrow my notes."

"Tempting," Buffy lied. "Really, I'd love to stay and study with you-"

"Liar."

Grinning, Buffy shrugged. "Yeah, I know. But really, I can't stay. I got Giles to let me patrol a couple of times a week by myself, and tonight is it. Dusting a couple of vamps will get me plenty pumped for the test."

"If you fail I am so not helping you study again," Willow threatened as Buffy started out.

"Yes you will."

"Damnit, I need to work on my poker face."

-----

Faith leaned against the side of the house, her eyes squeezed tightly shut. She had meant to knock on Willow's window, or just swing in, but on hearing the red-head's first comment she had decided to just stay outside and listen. Now she wasn't sure if she should have dropped in after all. It wasn't that the conversation had bothered her, in fact it was rather interesting, but just how it had happened. Buffy was so lucky to have a friend like that, someone she could turn to even when she was being annoying. _Does she even know how lucky she is?_ Faith wondered silently, watching as the blonde Slayer started off into the night. _What I wouldn't give to have her life..._ Or even just to be as important a part of it as Willow was.

* * *

It was odd, Willow thought, how much time Buffy and Faith were spending together now. She clearly remember how, only a month or so ago, Buffy would have been more than delighted to stake Faith in place of a vampire. "Buffy and Faith are getting along well," she said aloud, tapping her pen against her lip as she glanced over at Oz. "And it's downright weird... don't you think?"

Oz simply shrugged.

"That's not an answer," Willow accused, poking her boyfriend in the ribs. "I want an answer."

"And."

Willow raised an eyebrow. "And?" she repeated. "How can _that_ be an answer?"

Oz shrugged again. "And what's your point? They're Slayers, it's a big thing to have in common."

"But they're so different!"

"Opposites attract."

"For relationships, yeah sure. Like us... but this is Buffy and _Faith_."

"Don't you think there's an attraction there?" Oz continued tuning his guitar, completely oblivious to the impact his words were having on Willow. "I do."

"You do what?" Buffy asked as she walked in through Willow's open door, plopping down with her head in the red-head's lap.

Willow gave Oz a desperate look that clearly stated he was not to repeat his theory. "Oh nothing," she said in a falsely high voice. "We were just talking about the science projects due next week. Oz was saying that... ummm... he hasn't finished his yet and needs to work on it!"

Oz looked up from his guitar and blinked slowly. "I do?" Buffy gave him an odd look, Willow a direct one, and he nodded his head. "Oh yes, need to work on that. Should probably be going to get it done right now." He gave his guitar one final strum before standing up. Leaning over he kissed Willow on the forehead. "I'll see both of you tomorrow in school." He rolled his eyes at Willow over Buffy's head as he turned and walked out.

"Your boyfriend is insane," Buffy said simply. "Oh, and Faith is going to be stopping in any minute if that's alright with you."

"Huh? Oh yeah, sure, whatever," Willow said with a wave of her hand. "Faith, here, right. You two can chat it all up while I do the homework that you _should_ be doing."

"Give it a rest, Red," Faith said from the window. "It's not like she'll fail. Especially not at things that matter, like slaying the vamps. Right, B?"

Willow could remember when being called 'B' would have made Buffy shudder. But now all she did was smile at the brunette Slayer. _I don't like this,_ Willow thought, turning her eyes back to her book. Now that Oz had said it, all that she could see when she looked at the two Slayers were connections that would lead to something much, much more.

* * *

"The sun's starting to come up," Buffy remarked, nodding towards the lightening horizon. She and Faith were perched on top of a church overlooking the Sunnydale graveyard, having had no action whatsoever throughout the night. But neither one had left, or suggested that the other go. Buffy had thought to, Faith looked like she wasn't sleeping well, but then she realized that she was enjoying the brunette's silent company and decided to not bring it up. She wasn't fully sure of why Faith hadn't, she seemed to like her solitude, but she wasn't about to go and question it. "Looks like we're not going to stake a single vamp tonight. Or even get a tussle with a demon."

"First time I've heard you use that word, B," Faith said with a grin.

"What? Tussle?" Faith nodded and Buffy returned her grin. "It seemed to fit, and you've used it often enough that it just slid out without much thought."

Faith shook her head. "You're going to turn into me one of these days, you know. And then who'll be left to be the good-girl Slayer that everyone puts up on that high pedestal?"

"I ever go bad and you'll be me," Buffy replied, reaching over to flick one of Faith's curls. "You'll have straight hair and mine will go all curly. We'll be each other."

"I think I'd go insane, having to do everything the right way all the time. And having friends hanging around me all the time? No way, they'd cramp my style too much."

Buffy tilted her head. There at the end there had been a slight catch in Faith's voice, one that she had almost missed. _She doesn't think that friends would cramp her style,_ Buffy thought to herself. _I think that maybe she does want them. Does Faith really want to have friends like mine?_ The only way to find out would be to ask, but Buffy sure as hell wasn't going to do that. She'd just wait until Faith decided to actually admit it to her. If that ever happened.

"Shouldn't you go and try to nab a few hours sleep before you have to go to that torture place?" Faith asked after several more moments of silence.

"You mean school."

"Same difference."

Buffy rolled her eyes. "It's not as bad as you seem to think. I kind of like going to school. Except for the bi-weekly freak outs, it's the most normal place in my life."

"Nice word usage. I don't think I've ever heard the word 'bi' come out of your mouth before."

"Does... is... why does that matter?" Buffy asked, slightly unnerved. Just the way Faith had said 'bi' as she glanced at her had caused her stomach to erupt in butterflies.

Faith grinned at her as she stood up, reaching out to tap Buffy lightly on the cheek. "May just be the mind works, but when I hear bi I think bisexual. And then... well, then I think of something else that I might not need to share with you because it might just be going through your head too, judging off that look." With another grin, the brunette Slayer jumped off of the roof. "See you tonight!" Buffy heard her call.

Buffy didn't want to think about what was going through her head at that moment. She tried desperately to think of Angel, of how attractive she had been to him in every way possible. How she still _was_. Only... why did it feel like she was forcing herself? Probably because Angel's short hair kept growing out, becoming curly, and he kept shrinking a bit, his form warping to one infinitely more feminine while his face did the same thing. Buffy stared blankly as the first rays of the sun hit her face. Why was Angel morphing into Faith in her mind?


	3. Burns Like The Sun

((Reviews are appreciated... because those let me know whether I should keep updating or give it up.))

"I don't know what to do, Will," Buffy said, wringing her hands as she paced back and forth. "It's absolutely insane and it won't go away and... tell me what to do!"

Willow stared sleepily at her best friend, bits of her hair sticking out at odd angles. She had been asleep, they had the day off of school, when Buffy had popped in through her window. "Ummm... yes," she mumbled at last, unsure of what exactly she was responding to. "Wanna bagel and juice?"

"You're not listening to me," Buffy cried. "Will, I need your help with this. Wake up and focus!" She grabbed Willow by the shoulders and shook her gently, earning a disgruntled look in the process.

"Lemme sleep for another hour," Willow told her. She fell back onto her bed and, not a minute later, was fast asleep. Leaving Buffy to settle in a chair, still quite upset, and think.

-----

Faith hit the dummy hanging from the ceiling hard enough to cause it to snap off of its rope and hit the nearby wall. "Damnit," she muttered, slumping to the ground. She wasn't sure how long she had been going at it, but it was long enough to cause her to break out in a sweat. Not long enough to get that image of Buffy out of her head, though. It was like it had been branded on the inside of her mind with a cattle prod, destined to stay there for the rest of eternity.

She had tried several things to get it out, because it had been there for at least four weeks, probably more. But not even taking Xander into her bed a couple nights back had worked. Sure, she had been able to get some release out of it, but there had been no real pleasure in it. To get pleasure she knew what she needed... and that thing had blond hair and green eyes.

The brunette was not disgusted by the idea of being physically attracted to Buffy in the slightest, there had always been females who turned her on. What bothered her was that she wasn't just attracted to Buffy because of how she looked. That was a part of it, sure, but the biggest part was actually Buffy's personality. She was starting to like the other Slayer for who she _was_, and that was not something that she wanted at all. Liking someone like that made a person vulnerable, able to be hurt. Faith was not the kind of girl to ever let anyone that close. She didn't have friends, for example, and she _liked_ it that way. ...Most of the time.

"Has to be a way to get this out of my system," Faith growling, slapping her open palm against the ground. "If I just..." A smile curved her lips when her eyes landed on her well-worn stake. Next time she patrolled with Buffy she would take care of it, and she knew that the blond wouldn't object or resist. Not after she got through with the first part.

"Oh Buffy," she said with a chuckle. "You'll have no idea what hit you." It wouldn't even take her a week to get it done, two at the most. Then the image that had been haunting her dreams and waking moments would take its rest and she'd be able to go back to being like she truly liked. The loner Slayer who didn't need anyone at any time at all. The darker one. Just imaging how Buffy's smooth flesh would feel on her fingers caused a delicious tingle to run through Faith's body. How on earth had she managed to wait this long? _Not gonna wait much longer..._

* * *

"You know you wanna." Faith's voice was a breathy whisper in Buffy's ear. She slid her body around the blonde Slayer's body, hardly a centimeter of air separating their bodies. Buffy did her best to keep her breathing at a steady rate, not to let it come in the gasps that it was threatening to. "Just admit it, B. It'll be a ride worth taking and you know it."

When the brunette slipped the smooth wooden handle of her stake into Buffy's hand it was all the blonde could do not to moan. She could feel Faith's smile form next to her ear. "You've been planning this for awhile," she accused, curling her fingers around the stake.

"Maybe," Faith said with a shrug. "But only 'cause I knew what the answer was gonna be. You can't resist it, B, you just gotta give in."

Buffy turned so that she was facing Faith, so close that their noses were actually touching. She let out one of the gasps that she'd been holding in. It wasn't the thought of what they were going to do that had Buffy so pumped, her body practically humming with excitement and anticipation. It was having Faith so close, talking to her like she was. "You're good."

A wicked smile curled Faith's lips. "No," she said in that same breathy whisper, brushing her lips against the tip of Buffy's ear. "I'm bad." She nipped Buffy's ear hard enough to make the blonde moan, soothing it over with her tongue. "And you're going to be bad with me." She turned and started towards the entrance to the vamp den, knowing that Buffy was going to come with her now.

* * *

Faith glanced over at Buffy, a wild grin on her face. The last vampire in the den had only just managed to escape, and her blood was pounding in her veins, boiling. It felt like she was going to catch fire when she saw the look Buffy was giving her. _Perfect..._ Everything was going just as she had thought it would. "Did ya like that, B?" she asked, strutting over to stand directly in front of the other Slayer. "Made you feel like you're really alive and kicking, didn't it?"

"Oh yeah," Buffy breathed, her eyes practically smoldering. "You were right. Get all worked up before an attack and it makes the whole thing that much more intense."

"Of course I was," Faith purred, reaching up to wipe a drop of blood off of Buffy's forehead. "I know about things like this, B, even more than you do. Fighting gets your blood going when you let it and, if you're like me, it gets you hot right at the same time." She grinned at the trembled that ran through Buffy's body, knowing that the blond was soon going to be putty in her hands. And once she had her way with Buffy it would be out of her system for good. She would no longer care about the other Slayer as anything more than a teammate. If even that.

"Never did that to me," Buffy said, her fingers toying with a rip on her blouse. Faith blinked, that rip was in a _very_ interesting place. and if Buffy messed with it much more than she might as well take the whole shirt off. Of course, Buffy saw where Faith's eyes were glued and grinned, tugging on the tear so that it ripped a little more, exposing the edge of a red lace bra. "Until now. But then, I'm pretty sure you realized that. Or planned it."

"B, you're getting awful close to a line I'd _love_ you to cross," Faith said warningly. The line was going to be crossed, one way or another, but she hadn't thought that Buffy would be the one to do it. And if she was, then it'd be all the better.

"Would you?" Buffy asked, stepping forward so that her body was pressed against Faith's, curves seeming to fit perfectly. It was like fire leaped from those green eyes, threatening to burn her to ash on the spot. Like she was a vampire who had stepped out into the sun, that was what she imagined it would feel like. An overwhelming sense of heat and _longing_ before it all irrupted into... whatever it was. _Not quite right,_ Faith thought, her mind hazy because of Buffy's nearness. _Never get like this._

"B, you-"

"I know what I'm doing," Buffy whispered, her eyes intent on Faith's. "Not a little kid here, Faith, I've thought about this."

And before Faith could say another word, not that she had been planning on it, Buffy was kissing her. Sweet, soft, and hot all at once, the kiss was just like Faith had always imagined it would be. For a moment she couldn't gather her thoughts enough to do anything, but then it all clicked together and she was pushing Buffy back against the wall, hands on the blond's hips to keep her from slipping away. She pulled back to catch her breath, Buffy knew how to kiss!, and shocked herself by looking directly at Buffy's eyes. One of her rules always was to never look whoever she was going at it with in the eyes, because that formed a connection. And in the blink of their eyes, Faith knew she had made a mistake by looking up. But at the particular moment she really couldn't bring herself to care. Because Buffy was trailing hot kisses mixed with little nips along her neck, causing Faith to actually let out a moan.

One of her hands trailed up between their bodies, finding the tear on Buffy's shirt and yanking hard, causing the material to rip wide open. Buffy bit down hard on her neck, as though in response, when Faith tore the shirt off completely. "Faith..."

"No," Faith said, her voice ragged as she slid her hand down Buffy's bared stomach. "Don't talk, just _feel_." She pulled her neck away from Buffy's mouth to kiss her again, biting down on her lip hard enough to draw blood and a gasp. But there were no objections to that, nor when Faith's fingers slipped behind Buffy's back to undo the clasps of her bra. Buffy may have started the encounter, but Faith was without a doubt taking it over.

Judging by the gasps, whimpers, and even moans that she drew from Buffy, there were no objections at all.

-----

Buffy was laying on the earth, the coolness of the dirt feeling wonderful on her back. She felt more exhausted than she had after any fight with anything, more _content_ than that one time with Angel... Next to her she could hear Faith, whose hand was still caressing her waist, was breathing steadily if a little fast. Buffy turned and propped herself up, elbow digging a little hole in he earth. The look on Faith's face was one she had never seen, not even in the past hour or two or however long it had been. Complete contentment despite, or maybe because of, the sweat glistening in the faint light.

"Thank you," was all she said, pillowing her head on Faith's shoulder.

Faith stiffened, unused to any sort of physical contact after sex. She always did it and split, or kicked whoever it happened to be out. But her own hand was stroking the skin of Buffy's hip; yearning to dip down between her legs in that nest of tight blond curls. Draw out more of those moans and whimpers from Buffy's lips while playing in the sweetness that made _her_ breath come fast. Yet she kept her hand where it was and let Buffy doze off on her shoulder instead of getting dressed or letting her hand slip down to play where she wanted.

Instead, she curled her free arm around Buffy's bare shoulder and drew the other Slayer closer. She kissed her smooth forehead and released her hip to pull a nearby jacket over them both to counter the coldness of the earth below. "I thought I'd be over you..." she whispered in the sleeping Buffy's ear, nuzzling it lightly. She felt an overwhelming sense of tenderness towards the sleeping blond and she had _never_ anything like that towards anyone before. "Only I'm not. If anything I just want to be with you more now than ever."


	4. Die A Little

((Takes place after Faith accidentally killed the Deputy. Thanks for the comments  ))

Faith scrubbed hard at the white tank top. Some irrational part of her believed that if she washed it long enough then the last thing she had done in it would vanish like a puff of dust on the wind. Buffy would no longer look at her with confusion and worry in her eyes, and her dreams wouldn't be haunted by Buffy going on and on about the dead man. She squeezed tighter, for the other thing that haunted her dreams was the image of the man with that wound in his chest.

"Hey," Buffy said softly. "You're, uh, up earlier than I thought you'd be."

"Didn't sleep well," Faith replied shortly. She turned, shirt still in hand, and was surprised to see that Buffy was fully clothed. "Leavin'? But you were planning on staying the weekend..." She should not have felt a stab of pain at the thought that Buffy wasn't going to stay, but she did. Whether or not she liked it, Faith was feeling more and more connected to Buffy with each passing day. The worst part about it was that the other Slayer didn't seem to return the same feelings.

Buffy bit her lip and looked away. "Giles needs me. I'll see you tonight, though, for patrol."

There was something in those green eyes that made a little something inside Faith wither and die. "Liar. Phone never rang, Giles never called. You just can't stand to be by me, B. Suck it up and tell it like it is without skipping around the truth like some kid at the playground."

"I need to be alone," Buffy admitted. "To think. To..."

Faith felt like she had been hit in the stomach. "Be without me. Away from the girl who killed a man, who caused a death."

"That's not what I meant," Buffy said hurriedly, reaching out to touch Faith's face. But she jerked back and averted her eyes, unwilling to let Buffy see the pain that was forming there.

"Go then," she grated, jerking her head towards the door. "Run to your Watcher and your friends like you always do and leave me here by myself."

"Faith..."

"No!" Faith shouted when Buffy tried to tip her face up. "Didn't you hear me? I said to get out of here!" She turned her back, arms folded tightly across her chest until she heard the door slam behind her. Then she collapsed on the couch, hot tears splashing down her face. She wasn't even sure of why she was crying. It could have been because she had finally realized that she had actually killed a person who probably didn't deserve it. Or if it was because Buffy had left, unable to stand being near her for any length of time that they weren't having sex or sleeping.

What she did know, what she would never admit to another living soul, was that she didn't want Buffy to leave. She wanted the other Slayer to come back to her.

"But she won't," Faith told herself, staring out the window. "And if she's left me… well then, I'm gonna find another way to play." Buffy had hurt her, so Faith was going to do one of the things she did best. Hurt Buffy right back.

------

There was a wrenching feeling in Buffy's stomach when Angel told her what he suspected. Giles had already said it, of course, and she had had her own ideas about what was going on. But when they were just her own it had been fine, she could ignore it and pretend that none of it was real. All of it was just a trick of her mind trying to get her to forget that she cared anything for the dark-haired Slayer. So long as no one else said it she could go on pretending. Even with just _one_ person saying it it was fine; but Angel... Angel had a knack for not being wrong about things like this. Especially when he had that look on his face.

"Buffy?" Angel asked, reaching out to touch her cheek in a gesture that should have been familiar. She yanked back, not wanting to feel those calloused fingers against her skin. The only fingers she wanted to feel touching her were Faith's. Gentle at all the right moments, strong when they needed to be, and always relaying a depth of caring that she had not believed the brunette was capable of. "Okay, I won't pretend that I didn't expect that. But come on, you had to know she was capable of this."

"You have no idea of what she is capable of," Buffy whispered, brushing the tears away from her eyes before she looked up at the vampire. "So what if I knew? Doesn't mean that I accept or want to believe it."

"You _have_ to believe it!" Angel said harshly. "She's going to help him, you know that, and if any of us know her then it's you. You know her, maybe you can figure out why so that we can change it. Or at least make it less... something."

Buffy looked at him with red-rimmed eyes. "I'll do something." The only problem was that she had absolutely no idea of what that something was going to be.

The Mayor looked up from his latest paper signing and smiled. "Well, well, well," he said, motioning with the pen he was holding towards the doorway. "Look at what we have here, Faith, she came to say hello to us after all. And here we were thinking that you were going to forget your manners after all."

Buffy smirked, though there was a hint of hurt and anger in her green eyes when she saw Faith lounging on a chair near the window. "I'm better trained than that," she said, folding her arms across her chest. "And I didn't come to talk to you, I don't talk to false superiors. I came to talk to her." She jerked her head towards Faith, though her eyes remained fixed on the Mayor. She truly did not want to look at the rogue Slayer with someone else in the room, not when she knew that she would probably start crying. She _refused_ to show that sort of weakness in front of the scum sitting behind that desk.

"Oh, now, I don't think it'd be wise to leave you alone with my Faith," the Mayor said, making a tsking noise and shaking his finger at Buffy.

"She's not _your_ Faith," Buffy sneered, taking a step forward with her hands clenching into fists at her side. "She-"

"I take better care of her than anyone she has ever known," the Mayor said, seeming completely unfazed as he leaned back in his chair. "I'm the father she never had, her family. If the question you want to ask is why she'd rather be on my side than yours, then I've got the answer for you. It's because I care more about her than anyone else in this world ever has. I give her things, take care of her. I don't try to make her be something she isn't."

"Go on," Faith said, unfolding herself from the chair and walking over. "I want to talk to her myself." The Mayor gave her a surprised look. "No, really, I'll be five-by-five."

"I love that phrase," the Mayor said with a chuckle, patting Faith on the cheek. He stood and walked past Buffy, turning when he reached the door. "Now play nicely girls, I want my office to look exactly like it does now. That means no feet on my desk, Faith." Then he closed the door, and silence enveloped the room.

"So blondie," Faith said, plopping into the Mayor's abandoned chair and propping her feet up on the desk. "What brings you here? Actually noticed I wasn't hanging around with you and your little puppies anymore and decided to find out why? He gave you a pretty damn good answer, probably the best you're gonna get. He doesn't compare me or expect me to do anything that I don't want to. I like it better with him; not trailin' after someone else hoping for scraps that'll never come." The anger and resentment in her voice were enough to make Buffy flinch, but what cut the deepest was the hurt that was also there.

"What about me?" Buffy asked, knowing that this was probably going to be the only chance she had to figure out why. "Did none of it matter?" Her voice cracked a little, but her gaze was surprisingly steady as she stared at Faith.

"Doesn't matter," Faith said thickly. "Changed my colors, B, you better get used to that. Left your side."

"Left me."

Faith shrugged her shoulders and whirled the chair around so that Buffy could no longer see her face. "Guess that's how the cards play out. I made one mistake and things changed 'cause of it, so I had to change to make sure that I was keeping up. Go on back to your Watcher and vampire boy toy. And get ready, Slayer, 'cause the next time we meet I'm gonna show you just how much better my style is."

"Faith..." But Buffy couldn't say it, couldn't tell the brunette that she wanted her to come back with her. Not after what had just been said to her. "Fine. You'll regret this." As she left, walking past a smirking Mayor, she wasn't sure was she had meant Faith would regret. Turning to the darker side or leaving her. She wasn't even sure which _she_ thought was worse.

And she didn't see the tears coursing down Faith's face, nor the shaking of her shoulders as she did her best to not let Buffy hear her cry.


	5. Love To Hatred Turned

((The following takes place at the end of Season Three, so some lines are taken straight from the last episode. But most all of it comes straight out of my twisted head. And many thanks for the reviews, I'm glad to see that people are enjoying this!

And... here comes the turn for the worst . ))

Buffy stood in the hallway, staring at the familiar door that led into Faith's apartment. She knew what she had to do, had already made the decision to go through with it. Faith had left everything that Buffy believed in, and even worse, she had left _her_. Faith was going to help the Mayor, she had poisoned Angel, and she had killed multiple people just because the Mayor had told her to. Angel had killed more people in his centuries, but now he... No, there was no logical way for her to go about this. She was mad at Faith for what she had done, and Angel needed the blood of a Slayer to survive. There was no way she was going to die to save him, but there was always Faith's blood.

The music blared at her when she walked into the room, quickly spotting Faith sprawled out and reading a comic book. Taking a deep breath and smoothing her face over, she reached out and turned it off. "Thought I'd stop by," she said calmly.

Faith replied without even looking up. "He dead yet?"

"He's not gonna die. It was a good try, though. Your plan?"

"Uh-huh," Faith said, shutting the comic book and rising lazily to her feet. "The Mayor got me the poison. Said it was wicked painful." The grin that slipped across her face made Buffy's hands clench. How the hell could someone turn sides that quickly, that easily?

"There's a cure," Buffy gritted out, managing to keep her anger from showing fully.

"Damn. What is it?"

Buffy raised her hand and pointed a finger at Faith. "Your blood. As justice goes, it's not un-poetic, don't you think?"

Faith laughed. "Come to get me? You gonna feed me to Angel? You know you're not going to take me alive."

"Not a problem." Buffy shrugged her shoulders, loosening up for the battle that she knew was about to start.

"Well look at you," Faith said with a chuckle, planting her hands on her hips. "All dressed up in big sister's clothes."

"You told me that I was just like you." Images flashed through her mind of that night in the vampire den. Lips on lips, flesh on flesh, the tender moments afterwards... She shook her head, shoving those images aside. "That I was holding it in." She took a step forward at the same moment that Faith did, continuing to do so until they were face to face.

"Ready to cut loose?" The look in Faith's dark eyes was completely unreadable.

"Try me."

"Okay then." Faith leaned in until her lips were not even an inch away from Buffy's, causing the blonde Slayer to shiver slightly. "Give us a kiss." And truth be told, Buffy was severely tempted to actually kiss her. But instead, fighting against every last instinct that was screaming at her, she drew back her fist and punched Faith in the face. A part of her heart felt like it was breaking away and crumbling each time that she landed a punch on the brunette, and each time that the other hit her back.

"I hate you," Faith spat out as she drove her fist into Buffy's stomach. "Self-righteous bitch!"

Hot tears filled Buffy's eyes at those words, but they vanished with her next hit. _This was my decision, this is how it will be!_ She began to repeat that mantra in her head each and every time she managed to land a hit on the other Slayer. _I have to do this..._

But, somehow, the mantra faltered and shattered into a million tiny shards the moment that she drove Faith's own knife into the brunette's stomach. The look of surprise and hurt in Faith's dark eyes was surpassed only by the horror in Buffy's own. "Oh god…" she whispered, releasing the hilt and stepping back, warm blood dripping from her hand. "Faith…"

"Huh," Faith gasped, drawing the knife out. "Would you look at that… guess you killed me."

The worst part wasn't when Faith jumped off the top of the building into the truck, or when Buffy realized that she was right back where she started. The worst part was when she slumped to her knees, tears mingling with the blood on her hands. _I killed her._

-----

Somehow it seemed like her very skin had gone white, pale from the blood she had lost. Or maybe that was just because everything around her was that unearthly bleached white that hospitals seemed to radiate. Not that her mind was in the most stable condition ever. From moment to moment it seemed like everything was changing; except for two very important things. She felt like she was freezing, and over and over she saw repeated in her mind the scene where Buffy jabbed her own knife into her gut and twisted. Her blood had spilled out, red flashing on white hands before she jumped.

And now she was here, in the hospital, only barely clinging to consciousness. Not that it much mattered; Buffy had finally admitted that she hated her by committing the ultimate act.

"You killed me, blondie," Faith whispered as darkness overtook her vision.

_She was sitting in the back of the truck, fighting to stay awake and keep her hands pressed over the bleeding wound, and somehow Buffy was sitting right across from her. There was no emotion on that blank face, no hint of regret or even glee in those green eyes. But then she held out a blindingly bright white towel and held it up to the wound. "You're bleeding," she murmured, touching a blood-stained finger to Faith's cold cheek. _

"You did it," Faith replied, no hint of bitterness anywhere in her voice or heart. "To save Angel."

"Only because he didn't turn away from me like you did. You left my side and I had to stop you after all that you'd did. If you hadn't, I never would have hurt you." Buffy pulled back the towel as she finished. There was a crimson stain on it that resembled the knife that had been used. "I'm sorry..."

"Me too."


	6. Waiting For What?

((Set between seasons three and four))

It had been six days since graduation and the Scoobies were at a complete loss as to why Buffy was still acting like the end of the world was drawing near. Or, as had been the case three days ago, completely and totally hysterical.

"Could be because Angel left," Xander said at last, the remains of a chip he had popped into his mouth spilling out. "You know she seemed all doe-eyed over him." He widened his eyes as an example. At the look Cordelia shot him he sank back a little into his seat, muttering something that was not likely polite.

"Do you have to be so gross?" Cordelia demanded, motioning to the chip crumbs scattered over Xander's shirt. "Seriously, at least the jocks had some manners."

"Stop bickering, you two," Willow said, ignoring the scathing look that Cordelia shot her way. The brunette had never quite seemed to get over Xander and Willow's mutual betrayal like Oz. "Buffy wasn't just doe-eyed over Angel, Xander, she loved him." Xander started to open his mouth, but Willow continued, "Don't even say it, Xander. Just because you didn't like it doesn't make it any less true. And he kinda helped save us at graduation, so woo and hoo for him."

"Not Angel," Oz muttered, not looking up from the sheet music he was pouring over. As usual, he seemed more detached from the group than part of it, and everyone was surprised to hear him say something.

"What then?" Cordelia demanded, flipping her hair. "Not that I care, or anything. As you all know, I'm leaving the city soon. Moving onto bigger and better things than anything Sunnydale ever had to offer. Maybe even go for a modeling job that I heard about-"

"Oh just shut up, Cordy," Willow snapped, glaring at her. "None of us really care, seriously. So go back to staring at your reflection and let us figure out what's wrong with our friend."

"It's Faith," Oz said, breaking the silence that had begun to settle. "None of you want to think of it that way, because none of you like her."

"And you do?" Willow asked, her voice slightly tense. "You liked the way she strutted around with her tight little outfits and 'five-by-five' thing?"

"No." Oz was not even slightly ruffled by Willow's words. "But Buffy did. Come on, Will, admit it for once."

"Not gonna happen," Xander said, pointing a chip at Oz before popping it into his mouth. "Oz-man, you got a great head on your shoulders and all, but this idea of yours is just a little too whacko, even for us."

"And that's saying something," Cordelia remarked. And no one, not even Oz, had anything to say to that.

"Are they sisters?" the nurse asked, nodding discreetly to the blonde young woman seated beside the bed.

"Could be," another replied, shrugging her shoulders as she made a note on her clipboard. "But I doubt it. Records show that the girl has nothing and no one. Probably just a worried friend."

"She's here every day, though."

"It's nothing. Go back to your rounds and stop worrying about which patients get visitors."

_Could talk a little quieter,_ Buffy thought angrily. _Maybe then I wouldn't have to hear you everyday._ She was getting a little tired of it. Every time that she visited, and that had been eight times in less than the week since Faith was admitted, someone said something when they thought she couldn't hear. "Good thing you can't hear them," she whispered, stroking the limp hand that she was holding. "You'd probably beat them down for even suggesting that we were related."

There was no response from the brunette Slayer, not that Buffy had expected one. Faith was in a coma, a very deep one because of all the blood she had lost, and none of the doctors knew if she was going to snap out of it. What made it worse was the emotional trauma that Faith had gone through, and Buffy felt more at fault for that than she did the wound in Faith's stomach.

"One of these days you'll wake up," Buffy whispered, kissing Faith's hand gently. "And when you do, we'll figure things out... if you don't try to kill me first."

* * *

Her dreams were haunted by that lewd smile, those dark eyes that always seemed to know which button to push boring into her own... But every single dream always ended the same way; Faith had a knife sticking out of her and a resigned look on her face, like she knew that it was never going to come out. Every so often she would ask, "Gonna leave this thing in me forever, B?" And Buffy never had an answer to that question, because she never knew what the right answer was going to be.

"Someone looks the the Sandman decided to stop visiting altogether," a voice remarked from behind Buffy. "Only time I've ever seen you up this early is when we had to go to school or you've been kicking some severe vamp butt. Not that you were tonight, kinda been keeping an eye on you."

"I know," Buffy said, her voice oddly hollow. She didn't even turn, not feeling the need to. After all, she knew what Xander looked like. Her green eyes, dull as though a a layer of dust had covered them, continued to study the square slab of concrete on the ground. As had become her custom, even more so than before, the graveyard was her haunt. "You're not very good at keeping hidden, or staying quiet for long periods of time. Should probably work on that... or something."

"I vote 'or something'," Xander said, standing beside Buffy. "So, uh, what are we staring at?"

"Xander, no offense meant here, but I don't really feel like talking," Buffy said bluntly. "I haven't been coming around because I don't want to. I told Willow that last week and I'm pretty sure that she told you too. Tell me what you want and then please, for the sake of your own sanity, leave me alone until I'm ready to be around other people."

"You can't stay like this forever," Xander informed her, sounding a strange mix of unsure and upset. "Avoiding us, secluding yourself. It's not good for you, Buff."

Buffy turned to look up at him, her eyes still dull. "Anything else?"

Xander's mouth fell open. "What...? If I'd've said that three months ago then you'd have been all fired up to kick my ass for trying to tell you what was good for you. How about this." Xander held up his hands and drew a square with his fingers, mimicking what Faith had done several times perfectly. His eye twitched a little when he did it. "You're such a boring square, B, come to the Bronze with us tonight."

"Don't you _ever_ call me that again!" Buffy snapped, fire finally coming to her eyes. Xander took a step backward as she leaned forward to shove her finger into his chest. "You don't understand, you couldn't hope to understand, so just shut up, go away, and stop trying to make it better." When Xander didn't say anything in reply, the blonde Slayer turned and walk off, hoping that Xander hadn't seen the sparkle of tears in her eyes at the mention of Faith's nickname for her.

* * *

"Hey," Buffy said quietly, settling into her usual chair at Faith's bed. She hadn't come every single day since the brunette Slayer had been admitted, but pretty close to it. There was never any change in how Faith was doing, and the doctor she had spoken to several times said that there was very unlikely to be one ever. Buffy didn't believe that, she knew that Faith had the strength of a Slayer, but after all these months she was starting to wonder if maybe she was holding out hope for a little too long.

"And what is it that I'm hoping for anyhow?" Buffy asked Faith. "If I hadn't stabbed you then you would've found a way to kill me. When you wake up, you'll be so pissed, and I know you. When someone does something to you you don't just let it lie. Have to have the last say. For all I know you're going to come and try to kill me yourself." There was no movement in the other Slayer.

"You always were a selfish bitch," Buffy said angrily, the desire to just slap Faith and be done with it rising in her chest. "Never cared about anyone or anything but yourself and your next great thing. Don't know why I thought I could lo-" No, she would not say that word, not to an unconscious Faith. Maybe not even to a conscious one. And she would never be able to find out, because Faith had turned her back on Buffy and forced her to nearly kill her. "You said you hated me, and I'll never know if you actually meant that or not. I'll never know _anything_ now and I wish I could hate you for it!"

"Excuse me, miss," a nurse who was passing by said. "But could you please keep your voice down? Some of the patients nearby are children and they need their rest."

Buffy just glared at her, but the woman didn't back down. "Sorry," she grumbled at last. It wasn't until the nurse was out of sight that she turned back to Faith, a bit of her anger faded. But only a very little bit, enough so that she was able to keep her voice down. "I'm starting college tomorrow, and I'm not going to come and see you again. There's no point to it, all it does is make me hurt and you don't know that I'm here. You'll never wake up, so there's no point to me waiting around for you to do that and forgive me. Even if you do wake up it'd probably be bad for me to be around you. I don't want to end up with a knife stuck in my gut too." She stood, releasing Faith's hand. "If you do wake up, then I hope you leave Sunnydale for both our sakes. Neither of us need that." She leaned down and brushed her lips against Faith's softly, a warm shiver running through her body.

"Goodbye, Faith."


	7. Dream of Death

((Back at uni and so updates might be a bit more spaced out because I have a lot of other things that I need to attend to.))

Faith blinked as she stared at the puddle of water surrounding her feet, amazed that her brown hair was so lanky, her brown eyes enhanced by bags that dark. "What the hell's happened to me?" she asked, looking up to find herself in the middle of a deserted dirt road. Just like the one that had led to the lake by the quarry when she was growing up. When she glanced back down at the puddle, to see if maybe her eyes had been playing a trick on her, she was surprised to find that the water had gone from being clear and reflective to a muddy brown that matched the surrounding road.

The crack of a stick caused her to whirl around, her eyes widening in fear when she saw Buffy standing not five feet away, the knife that the Mayor had given Faith held loosely in her hand. "Hey there, Faith," Buffy said, tossing the knife to her other hand. "What are you doing all the way out here?" Faith shook her head and took a step back, the puddle seeming to grow larger as she did. "Oh, I know. Going back to the one place that's kinda like home. Not that you ever had much of one, that's why you turned out the way you did."

Faith shook her head again, the muddy water up to her knees. "I didn't come out here," she stated, completely confused. But even her confusion wasn't enough to mask the fear that she felt when she saw that knife clutched in Buffy's hand. "I was... in my apartment, listening to music. Waiting for the Ascension." Part of her was starting to grow angry with her actions, she _never_ acted like a frightened child! Especially not when Buffy was involved. Buffy was her enemy right now, plain and simple, no matter what she felt for the other Slayer.

"That coma really knocked you out of, all loopy like," Buffy stated, taking the first step into the muddy puddle. "But at least you don't remember what I did to you." The blonde made a quick thrust with the knife, and if Faith had been several feet closer than the knife would have gone into her stomach. She clasped her hand over her stomach as a sharp pain shot through.

"Blood?" she whispered, eyes wide at the red liquid that had started to stain her shirt and hand. "I'm... ow."

"You asked for it, Faith-y," Buffy said, sheathing the now blood-stained knife. "Come on now, you don't think that I was going to let you get away with taking out Angel? Now get over here and let me take your blood to him."

"No!" Faith cried, pressing her hands against the wound. "Please, B, you don't know why-"

"I don't care why," Buffy grated. "Did once, don't now."

"You have to. Let me say something!" The pain in her stomach was fading, like the wound was healing as quickly as it had been made.

Buffy gave her head a violent shake. "I don't want to hear anything you have to say, Faith! Never again, all that comes out of that pretty mouth of yours is lies. Don't wanna hear them anymore. Got a guy now who doesn't do that, well, not on such an insane scale."

Hearing those words somehow managed to hurt Faith even more than the wound in her stomach. "Dating someone?"

"Yeah, yeah I am," Buffy said, crossing her arms across her chest. "But what do you care? First, you're dead to the world and second, you don't give a rat's ass about me. As proven by you going all dark-Slayer on me and trying to take out one of my biggest allies! Oh yeah, and all of Sunnydale on top of that!"

Faith tried to step forward this time, to grab Buffy's shoulders and make her listen, but the thick mud at the bottom of the brown puddle had sucked her feet in. "He made me feel like his daughter, like I mattered to him. No one else has ever made me feel like that!"

"Right," Buffy said, her tone dripping with sarcasm. "Because I never accepted you, I never did anything for you, I never _loved_ you!" Her green eyes widened in shock and she clasped a hand over her mouth, as though she had revealed something that she hadn't meant to. For her part, Faith was trying not to stare in awe or smirk to try to throw the blonde Slayer off of her game for a moment or two. "I didn't mean... just go back to sleep!"

"I-" But Faith's words got lost in her throat as the mud started to suck her down. She squirmed and thrashed, stretching her hands out towards where Buffy stood with an expressionless face. "B, help me!" The brown water was at her chest and she kept sinking further.

"Why would I help you?" Buffy asked, her voice completely dead. She knelt down in the puddle, though the water that was now lapping about Faith's neck didn't seem to touch her, and leaned in so that her nose was practically touching Faith's. "I killed you once, remember? Why not do it again..." But instead of standing, like Faith expected, the blonde leaned even closer and kissed Faith roughly, nipping her lip hard enough to leave the coppery taste of blood. "To remember," she explained, wiping her mouth as she stood and turned away.

"Buffy!" Faith screamed, the muddy water pouring into her mouth.

In the hospital room that had been silent for the past months, minus the footsteps of the nurse who checked on her, Faith's eyes snapped open and she began to sob, loud heaving cries that shook her entire body. "B..."

------

Faith saw the familiar window of Giles' apartment and smiled, crossing the street to peer inside of it. Sure enough, the familiar group that she had spent far too much time with was gathered inside. Her smile faded a little at the sight of a guy she didn't know, one who was entirely too close to Buffy, who was getting looks of adoration from the other Slayer that Faith clearly remembered getting shot her way several times.

She could vaguely make out the conversation taking part on the other side of the pane of glass, but she didn't pay much attention to it. Her eyes were all for Buffy and whoever the hell the new guy was. Then, to Faith's everlasting shock, horror, and disgust, Buffy actually kissed him! "Okay, blondie," Faith growled, her hands clenching into fists. "I was considering apologizing and lettin' you off the hook for trying to gut me, but this just changes everything."

Then the phone rang and Buffy went to get it. Faith very nearly smirked at the expressions that played across the other Slayer's face. No doubt that call was about her. _Well I ain't just gonna stand here and let you get me that quick,_ Faith thought, shoving her hands in her pockets as she strode off. _After that display of yours, we're meeting on my terms._ And no matter how many months she had spent in the coma, very nearly a year as she figured it, she was just as strong and agile as ever. This time it wasn't going to be her with a knife hilt sticking out of her gut.


	8. Looks Like We're Enemies

((Some of the words are taken directly from "This Year's Girl", but with my own personal spin on the whole of it. Your reviews are loved muchly!))

_No way to think about all of this objectively,_ Buffy thought, scrubbing the sleep from her eyes as she hurried back to her room. She had been trying to not think about Faith all night, something that was very hard to do when she was looking for her. And Riley... that had probably been the hardest part of all. He had tried to hold her, to kiss her, but each time that he had the image of Faith had flashed in Buffy's mind and she had pulled away. "No thinking of it," she told herself firmly as she saw Willow hurrying towards her. "Just... flow."

"You patrolled?" Willow asked, brushing back a lock of short red hair. It may have been months since she had gotten to haircut, but Buffy was still unused to it. "Slay any vampires, demons, mayors with severe ego complexes? Or, oh I know!" She snapped her fingers like it had just come to her. "Didja find the psycho slutbomb from hell who is likely to kill us all in our sleep first chance she gets?"

"Option none-of-the-above," Buffy said with a sigh, leaning to the right to avoid a guy passing by her. "Either Faith left town, which I severely doubt, or she's just a really damn good hider. Now that I think of it, she's a really good hider." She sighed and shrugged her shoulders. "But everyone's looking for her. And if I were her, then I'd get outta Dodge post hasty."

They were coming up on the message board and one of the girls, who had curly dark brown hair, turned to face them. Buffy's knees very nearly gave out when she saw the very familiar face of Faith looking at her. "But you're not me." Faith grinned, the same grin that had haunted Buffy's dreams for so long, but there was an edge there that had never been before. A edge of pain. "So, check you out B. Nice, the big girl on campus thing's really working for you."

Buffy had to work her words through a sudden knot in her throat. "I've been looking for you," she said, proud of how steady her voice was. It didn't betray the conflict of emotions inside at all.

Faith threw back her head and laughed, a mean sound with no humor in it. "I've been standing still for eight months, B. How hard did you look?"

"Obviously not hard enough," Willow muttered, her eyes narrowed in a glare. "Else she would have finished you off."

"Watch it red," Faith said warningly. "Big B won't always be around to protect you."

Afraid that Willow might very well try a spell, Buffy asked the first thing that popped into her mind. "Are you alright?"

"Five-by-five. It's that thing about a coma. Wake up all rested and rejuvenated. And ready for payback." Faith flexed her arms as though demonstrating that none of her strength was diminished. A normal human would have needed to work to get their muscles back, but not Faith.

Buffy sighed. "So much for pleasantries, huh?" She had spent so long imagining what this moment was going to be like, and it never turned out like this. Of course, those imaginings had been done back before she tried to clean Faith out of her heart.

"You tried to gut me, blondie," Faith growled, her eyes flashing dangerously. "Didja think we'd just kiss and make up?"

_Actually..._ "You'd have done the same to me if you had the chance." It hurt more than it should have to say that.

"Let's have another go, see who ends up on time."

"Doesn't have to be like this, Faith," Buffy said, a pleading note to her voice. "We could... you and I..."

"Uh-uh, don't you go there," Faith pointed a finger at Buffy. "I saw you hanging yourself all over muscle boy. Nothing about you's changed, but I have. Ain't falling for it again, B, so don't you even try."

"These are all innocent people," Buffy tried, ignoring Faith's reference to Riley. He could take care of himself.

"No such animal."

There was no way that Faith was going to just give in. "I guess it was too much to hope that you'd use your downtime to reflect and grow."

Faith snorted. "I could say the same about you. I mean, you're still the same better-than-thou Buffy. I mean, I knew it somehow. I kept having this dream, I'm not sure what it means, but in the dream the self-righteous blond chick stabs me, and you wanna know why?"

Buffy saw Willow take off her backpack and move behind Faith, like she was going to try to knock the brunette out. She knew it wouldn't work, but maybe it'd be a bit of a distraction. "You had it coming."

"That's one interpretation. But you see, in my dream, she does it for a whole 'nother reason. She does it because she's bitter about what I did and doesn't know any better way to go about it." Willow started to swing the backpack forward but Faith held her hand up behind her. "Try it, red, and you're gonna lose an arm that I think you'd rather keep." Buffy signaled at Willow to back off and the red-head did so, though she looked like she wanted to nothing more than just attack Faith.

"Now here it is, eight months later, and what do I wake up to find? That the blond chick doesn't even hang around the guy she tried to kill me for, which sets off all sorts of sirens in my head. After all, why kill me and then leave the dude if it wasn't for your own, selfish reasons? You felt betrayed, B, and you wanted to take revenge in the most personal way possible; by getting rid of me all alone. I gave you a reason and hell, did you ever take it! But there's one more thing. Not only is the blond chick no longer hanging around the vamp like a lost puppy, she's also pretty much forgotten the girl she tried to kill. What's that say to you?"

Buffy swallowed hard, seeing the look of confusion on Willow's face, and hardened her face. "That you're still shooting your mouth off about things that you don't understand."

Sirens started to sound in the distance, causing Faith to tense up. "Looks like someone knows you're here," Willow said tauntingly.

Faith looked like she was torn between running and staying, and in the end she stayed exactly where she was. "You took my life, B," she said softly, her dark eyes swimming with emotions other than anger. "Payback's a bitch."

"Look who's talking," Willow snapped when Buffy said nothing.

"See you around," Faith said, saluting Buffy and Willow before turning and running off. After a quick glance at Willow, Buffy took off after her. But when she reached the first wall that Faith had jumped she lost track of the dark-haired Slayer.

Squeezing her eyes shut, Buffy slammed her first into the wall, a spiderweb of cracks spreading out from where her fist had connected. "Damnit Faith," she whispered. "Just when I'm staring to forget about you you have to go and wake up!" Not only that, but the brunette had made it very clear that the only thing she wanted there to be between the two of them was hostile. "Looks like we're enemies after all." Unfortunately, Buffy didn't know whether she was going to make a very good one. Not with some of these feelings still floating around inside.


	9. Let's Do It

It was a small, glowing green ball that looked like it could have come out of a gumball machine. If not for the fact that it was glowing. Faith studied it carefully, already knowing what would happen from the tape, and tried to figure out what she was going to do.

Obviously, staying in Sunnydale was going to end in the worst way possible. Buffy had made it clear that there was not going to be reconciliation between them. Well, not exactly, but that was Faith was going to look at it. Buffy was going out with that muscle boy and there was probably no way that she'd stop just because Faith had come out of her coma. After all, Buffy had been the one to put her there in the first place. "Just let it go, girl," she told herself. The Mayor, closest thing to a father she had ever known, would not want to see her like this. Pining after someone like a weak-willed girl. Drawing in a deep breath she shoved all of her emotions, except for anger, into a little box and locked it tight. Buffy had tried to kill her, and now she was going to ruin Buffy's life.

The same smile that she had worn when the Mayor had offered her a way to kill Angel crept across her face. Buffy had one weakness that Faith had never allowed herself to keep. She had family.

Faith knocked on the door and grinned when Buffy's mother, Joyce Summers, answered. "Hi Joyce," she said cheerfully, reaching out to shove the older woman down. "Mind if I come in?" There was a more than slightly insane look in her eyes. With her emotions gone went all her restrictions, and the only thing that Faith wanted to do was hurt Buffy in any and every way possible.

"My daughter's going to come through that door and kill you any minute now," Joyce informed Faith about half an hour later, her gaze defiant and angry.

"That a fact?" Faith asked.

"More like a bet."

Faith grinned and chuckled, shaking her head. If her mother had actually stuck around and cared, then she probably would have been a lot like Joyce. "Whoa, you got on a pair on you! But you know what I think? I think that Buffy doesn't hang out here much anymore, too into her own thing." She wiggled her fingers in the air. "You'd think that she'd be here, though, what with a crazy psychotic bitch on the loose that just happens to have a real serious grudge against her."

"You don't know the first thing about her," Joyce spat.

_Oh what I wouldn't give to make that true!_ "Don't I? I know what it's like. You think you matter, you think you're a part of something and you get dumped. It's like the whole world is moving and you're stuck. It's like those animals in the tar pits. It's like you just keep sinking a little deeper everyday and no-one even sees." That was what her life had always been like, and part of the reason why she had come to Joyce. She knew how Buffy's mind worked, and the blond would want to protect her mother. _Stupid bitch with her stupid connections._

"Were you planning to slit my throat anytime soon?" Joyce asked, tilting her head a little. "Because if not, then I have a pot roast I should be seeing to."

"Don't tell me you don't see it Joyce. You've served your purpose, squirted out the kids, raised her up, and now you might as well be dead. Nobody cares, nobody remembers, especially not Buffy fabulous superhero. Sooner or later you're going to have to face it. She was over _us_ a long time ago Joyce. Too busy climbing onto her new boy-toy to give a single though to the people that matter. I mean, you're her mother, and she just leaves you hear to die." She grabbed a knife off of the table, though she hesitated. Part of her wanted to drive it through Joyce's heart, but a part just as big wanted to drive it through her own.

Then came the sound of cracking glass that she had been waiting for, and a punch to the face that was all too welcome. "Let's do it, B," she said, flashing a grin as she shifted into a fighting stance. "Let's end this once and for all so one of us is free and true." In some corner of Faith's mind she believed that whichever Slayer was left standing was the one who was right about everything.

"Looks like you got yourself a pretty new boy," Faith snarled as she tossed Buffy over her hip. "How long did it take after I was dead and Angel gone for him to fall into your bed?"

"None of your business, and you keep your filthy hands off of him."

"They were good enough for you, weren't they?" Faith demanded, her mind flashing back to that first night in the vampire den. She was so distracted by the memory that Buffy's next punch sent her reeling. "Oh I remember the moans and groans, and how you used to say my name. Say his the same way? Not that it matters, you'll forget him soon enough... just like you forgot me."

"Ever occur to you, Faith, that the reason we forgot you is because we wanted to?"

For some reason, those words elevated Faith's anger even higher. She smashed the nearest lamp, cutting her own hands, and threw it at Buffy's head. She started for the other Slayer, the promise of death in her eyes, when she heard the unmistakable sound of police sirens. Reaching into her pocket, Faith pulled out the device that the Mayor had given her and held it up to block Buffy's next punch. A jolt of energy shot up through the arms of both Slayers.

Then, Faith was looking at her own body, seeing those dark brown eyes widen in disbelief. And, before Buffy could take action, Faith punched her in the face, her own face, hard enough to knock her out. "I'll be damned," she murmured, flexing her new fingers. "Worked after all."


	10. Still The Same

((Sorry for how long the update took, but I'm glad that there are people enjoying this story!))

Buffy sighed as she settled into the warm, bubbly water. It was so nice to be able to soak, even though her body was clean, except for some sweat from the fight earlier. "This is nice," she murmured, sliding a soaped up rag over her body. "Mmm, taut and perky, just like I remember."

And even though she was in Buffy's body using Buffy's hands on Buffy's body, it felt like she was in her own body touching Buffy and that it was being returned. Like the times they had been together before she turned to the Mayor's side... "It's wrong," she told herself, green eyes drifting shut as she slid a hand across her hips. A wicked smile that looked much better on Faith's face than Buffy's flashed across her lips. "And that's why I'll do it. Because it's wrong." She tilted her head back and let out a small groan when her hand slipped between her legs, finding the curls much the same as they had been a year ago. "Mmmmm, here's a tool I know how to work."

Half an hour or so later, after Joyce had called in to make sure that Buffy was alright, she let out a moan quieter than the ones she had been building up to. "Damn, B," she gasped, knowing full well that the other Slayer couldn't hear her. "You feel better than ever." All in all, it was probably the steamiest bath that Buffy's body had ever been exposed to... and Buffy wasn't even there to enjoy it.

Faith's eyes opened slowly and she moaned, her entire body feeling like it had been hit by a truck. "What...?"

"She's awake!" a woman cried. "Quick, she's not properly restrained yet!"

"No, wait!" Faith shouted, or tried to. It came out closer to a quiet cry. She clearly remembered seeing her body standing next to her mother as she was wheeled away in this body, Faith's body. "She's in that house with my mother, you have to let me go!" But no one was listening to her. The woman came at her with a needle full of what looked like water. Faith knew it for what it really was, a sedative, and the last thing that went through her mind after it was stabbed into her arm was an image of her body in a soapy tub of water.

* * *

No matter what the outsides looked like they didn't change what was inside and that, more than anything, pissed Buffy off. She was at the Bronze, just letting go, when Willow showed up with some shy blonde girl in tow. _What's this?_ Buffy wondered, sneering at the guy who had started coughing up beer before turning to fully face the red-head. "So what's up re- Will?" she asked, only just catching herself. She appraised the blond girl openly, noting that Willow had found herself a pretty friend. _But whatever happened to Oz? She never went anywhere without him._ Not that she could ask, surely that would have raised red flags.

"Buffy, this is Tara," Willow said, her face practically glowing as she tugged the blond girl up beside her.

"Hi," Tara said, crossing her arms over her chest. There was a funny, appraising look in the girl's blue eyes that Buffy did not like one bit. It sent shivers down her spine.

"So, we've never met?" Going off of the way that the two were looking at her, it was a logical thing to assume. Tara shook her head. "Good. I just... have a problem with remembering names and faces sometimes."

"Tara was in my wicca group," Willow explained, as though it actually mattered. "You know, the one that I told you about?"

"Uh-huh," Buffy said, turning and walking off. So Willow was seriously into the witch-thing. For some reason that wasn't very surprising. Red had to have a way to keep up with her best friend, and physical strength definitely wasn't going to be it. Intelligence was the one place where she had her strengths, and she was definitely playing that to her advantage. _Wonder what ol' B thought of that one?_

"So, what's up?" Willow asked, obviously intent on following her. Buffy gritted her teeth as she plopped down on a couch and tossed her feet up on a table. She definitely wasn't used to this whole having people tailing after her like they actually cared. While it wasn't the worst feeling in the world it definitely wasn't one she was used to. "Patrol a no-go?"

"Got tired," Buffy said carelessly. "You know, the whole Faith thing. I let off some steam." Saying the name 'Faith' made her eyes tighten a little, but she managed to keep her face mostly straight.

"Good for you, you shouldn't work yourself too hard." For someone who Buffy didn't really like, Willow had some head on her shoulders some of the time.

"That's my philosophy." She snapped her fingers at Willow in a very Faith-esque motion. "You're catching onto that quick."

Willow smiled at her, not seeming to notice the different behavior. "Anyone want a soda?"

"Water," Tara said in her quiet voice. Buffy shook her head, having had enough to drink earlier. She did notice, however, how Tara's eyes followed Willow when she walked away, and the barely visible smile that curved on her lips.

_Ohhhh,_ Buffy thought, a smirk coming to her face. _I see what's going on here. Looks like I might have a bit more in common with little miss red-head than I ever thought possible._ "So you guys been hanging out a lot lately, huh?" she asked.

"Yeah," Tara replied, a slight blush staining her cheeks. "She's, um, she's really cool. Really skilled and quick to c-catch onto things."

Buffy nodded slowly, trying to think of how best to put what she was going to say. _Screw that, this girl doesn't know how B acts and Willow won't hear!_ "So Willow's not driving stick anymore." Tara's blush deepened considerably. "Who would have thought? I guess you never really know someone until you've been inside their skin. And Oz is out of the picture? Oh, never seen two people so much in love. She just couldn't get enough of old Oz." At that, the blush changed to a ghostly paleness abruptly, and Buffy knew that she had hit a nerve. _Good,_ she thought viciously. _If I can't have the relationship that I would have been happy with then why should these two? Red sure as hell doesn't deserve it._ A small part of her cringed at the way she had put it, but she shoved it aside. Just because she looked like Buffy didn't mean she was going to start acting like her.

"She, um, said he, uh, uh, w-w-w-w-w-went-" Tara stammered.

"He w-w-w-w-what? You gonna get that sentence out sometime tonight?" Buffy interrupted cruelly, getting a sadistic rush of pleasure when Tara lowered her head. Maybe this night would be more fun than she had thought.

Faith stared at Giles house, breathing heavily from all the running she had done. She knew it was a futile attempt, but she had to do her best to get her former Watcher to believe that no matter what she looked like on the outside on the inside she was the same Buffy he had always known. "Even if I do look like... this." She looked at a lock of dark brown hair in disgust. No matter how good it look on Faith, she did not like it on herself. "Not that that makes much sense... since I _am_ Faith." She made another sound of disgust before starting for the house, hoping that Giles would at least listen before calling someone to come and take her away for good. "It's Giles, he should listen to me."

* * *

Faith, back in her body for some reason she couldn't understand, was shocked for a moment. But she recovered a fraction of a second quicker than Buffy and managed to toss the blond Slayer off of her. She kneeled there, panting heavily, the sobs that had begun when she was still in Buffy's body continuing now. "I'm sorry," she whispered, unable to look at the other Slayer. Her dark eyes brimmed with honesty. "B... forgive me."

Buffy looked at Faith, seeing the brunette in a different light. How different things would have been, if only... She reached out and brushed her fingers lightly against Faith's cheek. "I forgive you," she whispered. "For everything."

Faith squeezed her eyes shut, and when they opened more tears fell. She leaned forward and kissed Buffy gently, a world of if's flashing through the minds of both Slayers. "Catch you later," Faith said, her voice hoarse as she leapt to her feet and ran away. Buffy stayed where she was, fingers pressed to her lips now and her own eyes filling with tears, and stared at the door Faith had run out of.

"Goodbye."


	11. Drink It Up

((Sorry I left of of this for so long... uni has become really hectic. It's the last few weeks so finals are coming up and I don't have a whole lot of time for anything. But look! I didn't leave it off at that last point, because that just wouldn't be right at all. Enjoy!))

"Kicked her ass," Willow said proudly a couple of days after the last encounter between Buffy and Faith. "From here all the way to wherever it is she ran off to." She giggled, a little tipsy from the wine she and Tara were drinking. It was a special occasion, so Willow had claimed, and Tara had complied by getting one of her older friends to buy a bottle of wine for her.

Tara simply nodded and continued braiding her hair, only having taken a sip from her own wine. "Don't you wonder why she did it, though?" she asked carefully, unsure of how to bring this subject up. "I mean... I don't know her as well as y-you did, but still. There has to be a reason."

"It's Faith," Willow stated simply. "That's just how she is. She was always jealous of Buffy and everything she had, but it looks like we're not going to have to deal with miss five-by-five anymore." She tipped her second glass towards Tara before taking a long drink. Tara, still curious but knowing better than to press the subject, just shook her head and ducked it low to hide her smile. She hadn't thought that Willow could look any cuter, but with her cheeks red from just the bit of wine she'd had, she was.

"Here," Riley said gently, pushing a shot glass filled with a dark gold liquid towards Buffy. "Normally, I seriously dissuade this type of behavior, but in your case I'm going to make a really big exception. You look like you need this more than anything else, including a strong shoulder like mine to cry on." He flashed Buffy a smile that she had always thought to be charming, but it faded when he saw that she wasn't responding to it like normal.

"What is it?" Buffy asked suspiciously, though her green eyes were still as haunted as before.

Riley sighed. "Like I'd try to poison the prettiest girl on campus," he said. "And the only one who could hand my own ass back to me in a fight."

Buffy fixed a level stare on her boyfriend. "I'm serious, Riley," she said in a tone that brooked no discussion. "What is it?"

"A shot of whiskey," he told her, motioning to the full shot glass in front of him. "I have the same thing, though I'm only drinking one so that I can be a safe driver. You, on the other hand, might want more than one before the night's through." He held his hands out wide as though in surrender. "And I won't tell a single soul that the Slayer took a night off to get fall-down drunk in order to be more like herself again."

"Could just get stuck on it."

"But you won't. One night, that's it, and then you're going to be the Buffy we all know and love and fear."

_Or hate,_ a small voice inside of Buffy whispered as she gave in and downed the burning liquid in one gulp. _Like Faith - no, wait, she doesn't hate me. She hates herself._ But, for whatever reason, that thought did not a thing to soothe Buffy's troubled mind and she welcomed the next shot of whiskey that Riley passed her, knowing that before too long her mind would be too clouded by drink to be troubled by Faith any longer.

The bottle of vodka that Faith clutched as she staggered along the alley didn't even have a swallow left in it. It had been full when she had taken it from a snoring bum, the empty bottles around the man indicating why he slept so soundly. She had known when she started drinking that she was going to hate herself the next morning for it, until a new thought had occurred to her. She wouldn't hate herself if she couldn't remember it, so why not just keep on drinking? She couldn't think of a good reason not to, and plenty of reasons why she should. With the drink in her she didn't have to endure her own intense self-hatred, wouldn't have to remember the confused look in Buffy's green eyes when she ran away, wouldn't have to remember how she had hurt the other Slayer... and despite the bottle of vodka in her, tears welled up in Faith's dark eyes.

"No!" she howled, whipping the bottle against a nearby brick wall. "No!" She scrubbed at her eyes and started off in a new direction, in search of another bottle of liquor to dull her senses even more, until she didn't remember anything at all.

She didn't know that Buffy was doing the same thing.

* * *

Buffy drove the stake into the vampire's chest carelessly, walking away before it had even burst into dust. It was the third one she had killed tonight, and since it was only an hour until dawn, likely the last. Not that it really mattered to her, all that mattered at the moment was the night ending so that she could open the bottle of whiskey that was waiting for her in the backpack she had slung in the branches of a tree at the beginning of the night. She was supposed to go with Riley to breakfast, but she didn't really care to. The last good thing that Riley had done for her was to introduce her to the mind-numbing powers of whiskey.

"Nicely done, pet," a smooth voice remarked from behind her.

A scowl formed on Buffy's face and she didn't even turn to look at Spike. Instead she strode off for the tree, which she hadn't wandered far from, and swung herself up to where her backpack was hidden. She unscrewed the top and took a long swallow, the taste making her eyes water even as it burned her throat.

"Oye, I said something to you!" Spike growled from the base of the tree. "Now while you don't like me anymore'n I like you, I still expect a proper reply."

"If I wouldn't feel the slightest bit guilty over it then I'd drive my stake through your chest," Buffy informed him, her voice a little rough. "And you should be hiding yourself back in that little crypt of yours where you belong, sun's about to come up." She took another swig, frowning when no numbness swept through her body. Every night it took a little more for it to happen, but this was the first time that the equivalent of three shots hadn't done it.

"Drinking it up?" Spike asked as he leaned against the tree.

"Not your business," Buffy snapped, a worm of irritation snaking through her dark thoughts of Faith.

"They talk about it, you know," the vampire said, shoving his hands deep into his pockets. "Those friends of yours. I can hear 'em clear though they forget I know how to sneak about. Drinking a little too much these days, and not even when that solider boy of yours."

Buffy was very tempted to jump down from the tree and drive her stake through Spike's chest, ending the annoyance that the harmless vampire was once and for all, but she didn't. Instead she pretended that she hadn't heard a word and took another large swallow, nearly gagging from the taste that took even longer to fade.

"Whiskey's all?" Spike asked when he caught the label. "Pfft, when you're ready to drink with the big dogs, then you come and find me, pet. I'll give you something that'll keep whatever demons haunt you far away." He snorted and shook his head before running off, for the sun was beginning to peek up. Buffy just stared after him, knowing that no matter how much she despised the soulless creature, the day might come when she took him up on that offer. After all, eventually the whiskey wouldn't quiet her restless thoughts quick enough. Like now. With Spike's voice gone images of Faith's face before she had run off flooded Buffy's thoughts. She let out a quiet whimper and took another drink, knowing that soon enough she would forget yet again with the taste of whiskey on her tongue.

"You don't want to do that," the unkempt vampire remarked, pointing a club at Faith as she stalked in. "This is my crypt and you take another step I'll be obligated to drain you even though I've had plenty for the night."

"I know that," Faith said. She could still taste the scotch she had drunk that morning before passing out, but the effects were completely gone. And Faith, who had been drinking more and more since her departure from Sunnydale two weeks past, was starting to shake. Even worse, she was remembering how Buffy's skin had felt against hers; both during the times they had made love and when she had tried to kill the blond. "Saw the bodies. But see, here's the thing, I'm a Slayer and it's my job to get rid of you. That, and you seem to have a right ol' collection of full bottles. I want those."

The vampire sneered at her ragged appearance. "The Slayer would never look like that," he said confidently. Swinging his club, he charged in.

Five minutes later Faith was appraising the various bottles in the vampire's cabinet, satisfied that she would be able to remain here for at least a week before moving on to find her next target. The shelves held not only alcohol, most of it the hard liquor that she desired, but food as well. An oddity for a vampire, but not one that she was going to question. There was a bottle of Jack Daniels staring out at her and Faith was pretty sure that nothing had tasted better... except maybe Buffy, and that thought only served to fuel her desire to finish the bottle and move onto the next.

* * *

"It'll work," Willow said for the tenth time, glaring at Xander when he opened his mouth to argue. Tara placed a soothing hand on Willow's shoulder, smoothing the red-head's shirt out much as she did with her flaring temper. Willow gave her a grateful smile before turning to regard Xander. "Sorry," she apologized, genuinely meaning it. "I really didn't mean to snap at you. It's just that everyone seems to think that we shouldn't do it because it won't work when I _know_ that it will. She is my best friend after all."

"She's my friend too," Xander said, shrugging off the bit of hurt he felt at Willow's reaction. "I just don't think that a game of cards, set up for her to win, will keep her from going back to that bottle... again."

Anya frowned. "Alcoholics don't give up their tendencies easily," she agreed. "You wouldn't believe the number of women who have had me reek vengeance for them because of a drunken man. There was this one in Moscow-"

"Not now," Xander said quickly, clamping his hand over Anya's mouth. "They really don't need to hear that one."

"Back on subject," Tara said quietly, motioning to the deck of cards. "Winning suit is spades?" Willow nodded. "And Buffy will have a royal flush of spades?" This time it was Xander who nodded. "And y-you're not thinking she'll suspect something?"

Willow flushed. "I... well, she, uhhh... damnit."

"It was a good idea," Tara assured her, patting her arm. "Just, let's not try it? Y-you'll think of something better."

From outside the window Buffy, a small flask in hand and dark circles rimming her eyes, shook her head and took a swig that burned all the way down. She had been going to go in, until she heard that word 'alcoholic' come from Anya's lips. Then she had decided that she wasn't going to set herself up to be cornered and lectured. That was the last thing she needed.

"You're a little pistol," the man said with a laugh, slapping the piece of wood he had broken from a nearby tree against his open palm. His two friends lay still near his feet, having gone for Faith first. "I think I like that."

Faith smirked and shifted into a defensive stance, her mind relatively clear for the first time in days. "Why don't you come on and try me yourself?" she taunted, motioning with one hand. "I'll give you a ride well worth the wait."

"Mmhmm, I'm sure you will. Only worth it if you got some dough on ya." But, not seeming to truly care, he charged on. Not even a minute later he lay dead at Faith's feet, bloodshot eyes wide in amazement.

"You shouldn't have killed them," a chillingly familiar voice said from the shadows further back. Faith's eyes widened and the smirk slid off of her face. "Buffy wouldn't have."

The sound of that name made Faith squeeze her eyes shut; she had been doing so well at not thinking about her! "Well I ain't her, am I?" she demanded, voice hoarse as she whirled to find Angel standing not four feet away.

"No," Angel said, sounding sad. "You aren't, and that was always one of your greatest failings. What are you doing here?"

"None of your business," Faith snarled, turning on her heel and stalking away. Seeing Angel made her think of Buffy, and thinking of Buffy always led to the same thing... and there were no more bottles in the lair she had just abandoned. Looked like time to find a new one.

"Can't hide in it forever," Angel said calmly. "But here, to get you through the night and keep you from killing anyone else." Faith turned in time to catch a silver flask that the vampire had thrown, noticing that he had vanished as soon as throwing it.

"Bastard," she growled, hoping that that would be the last she saw of him. She didn't even bother to ask how he knew about her drinking, partially because she didn't care and partially because all she cared about what draining whatever the silver flask with its engraved black spade contained.

* * *

The smell of alcohol made Tara curl her nose, but she didn't say a thing as she knelt down beside Buffy, a concerned expression on her face. This was Willow's best friend, Willow wanted to help her, and the chance was presenting itself for Tara to make herself useful so she wasn't about to blow it by gagging. "Shhhh," she murmured, carefully stroking the Slayer's messy blonde hair. Buffy continued retching for another minute or so before she finally stopped, her body trembling violently. "It's okay, Buffy, it's okay."

"No," Buffy gasped, turning her head to look at Tara, who was surprised to see tears in those green eyes. "No, it's not. I need to stop this, but..."

"We can get y-you help," Tara assured her, slightly alarmed as Buffy started to cry quietly.

Buffy smiled wryly through her tears. "The kind that makes the reason why I drink go away?"

Tara bit her lip. "No," she said honestly. "That had to come from y-you, not anyone else. N-no matter how much they want t-to help."

"Does anyone know why?" There was fear in Buffy's voice, making the answer she wanted very obvious.

"No. W-well, none of them."

"You know." It wasn't a question so Tara didn't say anything. "Don't tell them, please? Not even Willow."

"I w-won't." Tara smoothed back a lock of Buffy's hair and smiled at the Slayer. "Let's go get y-you cleaned up. You smell _terrible_."

"At least you're honest about it."

Faith swooned, her head spinning from having downed that much alcohol so fast, and would have fallen to the ground had it not been for Angel. He had been shadowing her nightly since he first realized she was in Los Angeles, determined to keep her from killing off too many people. Despite himself he had begun to feel bad for her, especially after all Buffy had told him, and the noblest part of him wanted to save the Slayer from her downward spiral. If she'd let him help, but Faith had a thing for refusing whatever happened to be good for her.

"You are a mess," Angel informed the unconscious girl, a rueful smile on his face as he hoisted her up into his arms. "And you aren't going to like me one bit come whenever you wake up, I'm afraid, but at least you'll smell better." Even if he had to rinse her off with a hose, Angel would have Faith smelling better than she did at that moment. It seemed like the only showers she'd taken since leaving Sunnydale had been the ones caused by the rain and her body was radiating the scent of every last type of alcohol she had imbibed in.

"Buffy," Faith whimpered, clutching at Angel's shirt as he carried her down the street. "Please, B, forgive me..."

Angel stiffened in shock, looking down at the brunette Slayer with wonder clear in his eyes. "You dream of Buffy," he whispered. "Of begging for forgiveness... perhaps we have more in common than I thought was possible." He listened carefully the rest of the walk back but, except for a few whimpers and cries, Faith remained silent.

Faith groaned as she opened her eyes to find the slanting rays of the setting sun glaring in at her. "Wha... wasn't I outside?" she asked herself, scrubbing hard at her eyes. Sure enough, she was inside what appeared to be a very nice house. Looking down at herself she jumped up, swooning a little before catching her balance. "The hell?" she demanded. Her clothes were gone and she was dressed in a fluffy purple bathrobe that had two elaborate C's embroidered on it. A horrid thought made its way into her mind and she took a step back, shaking her head in denial. She knew someone who had the initials C.C. and she never wanted to see that woman again.

"Look whose awake," a familiar voice, dripping with sarcasm, remarked. "Without throwing up on that robe either, I'm impressed. You already ruined my favorite black one."

Faith turned her head to sneer at Cordelia, not pleased at all to find herself in the company of this young woman once again. "Don't make me kill you, girly," she warned, clutching at her head as a dull ache started to throb. "I'm sure no one'd miss you."

"Tsk tsk," Cordelia chided, shaking her head even as she settled comfortably onto a nearby chair. "Is that any way to treat the woman whose letting you stay at her place until you're over this alcoholic thing?"

"Considering the fact that I ain't got an alcoholic problem and don't wanna be here, then yeah, it is."

"Ah, well in that case you're free to go." But it was the way Cordelia said it that caused Faith to narrow her eyes at her, wondering what this normally-flippant girl was up to. "Of course, if you do that then I'm obligated to call Buffy and tell her where you are, and Angel will find you again. Bring you right back here. But if you just sit down and chill, then none of that has to happen and we can take care of this without anyone feeling the need to do something... rash."

"You've changed," Faith remarked, impressed despite herself at the way Cordelia was handling her. "Think I'll stick around to see just how long you stay like this. Spoiled brat'll come out any minute and you'll beg me to leave."

"Don't think so," Cordelia said with a shake of her head. "Angel would be most displeased with that."

"Angel!" Faith cried, throwing her hands up in exasperation. "What is it with everyone and him??"

Cordelia's smile was a little wistful. "He gave me a job," she said. "And you'll want to be grateful, Slayer, because he's your savior, like it or not."

"Don't think I like it."

"That's your problem, now isn't it?"

"You're my savior," Buffy said quietly, giving Tara a genuinely grateful smile. "And if Willow hadn't already caught ahold of you then I might have to try."

Tara laughed before hugging Buffy tightly, knowing that the Slayer wasn't serious. "All I did was get y-you to go to a couple meetings," she said humbly, though her smile didn't fade in the slightest.

"And if not for that then I'd still be at the bottom of a bottle."

Tara's expression become more serious at the end of that statement. "Y-you over her?"

"No," Buffy said honestly. "I'm not, but I've got it under control enough, I think, so that nothing like this will happen again."

"T-then that's all the thanks I n-need."


	12. In A Flash

((Comments? Responses? Ideas??? I'm a writer and I desperately crave feedback… makes me happy, especially the week before finals.))

Faith glared at Cordelia with bloodshot eyes, cracking her knuckles threateningly. "You can't stop me," she informed the girl. "I could snap you like a fuckin' twig without a second thought, so you'd be smart to just move out of my way." Cordelia didn't reply, just crossed her arms over her chest and matched Faith's glare with one of your own. "Not that you were ever all that smart."

"Sit down, Faith," Angel said. He had just come in through the window across the room. A flash of lightning made his face appear almost frightening. "You're not going anywhere."

"B's here!" Faith exclaimed, pointing at Angel accusingly. "And you know what she's gonna want to do to me. Won't be nothin' pleasant, I'll tell you now." She slumped back against the wall, rubbing her temples.

"She doesn't know you're here," Angel pointed out calmly, settling into his favorite armchair. "And as long as you stay inside this house you won't have to see her at all."

"That's the problem now, isn't it?" Cordelia asked, frowning. "She gets all... antsy if she stays cooped up for more than a day, and I have enough trouble dealing with her when she's her normal self! Can't we just make the two of them see each other and get it over with? Then they can go back to Slaying together in Sunnydale and I can have my apartment back to myself."

"Doesn't work like that," Angel said. "Faith's wanted by the police for murder, and Buffy might just want to turn her into them."

Cordelia's eyes lit up. "Is there a reward?"

"Don't even think about it," Faith threatened. "'Cause they can't keep me forever and when they let me out I'd come right for you."

"And go back again."

"Some things are worth it."

"Stop it you two. Faith, just... stay inside the apartment. Cordy, don't make this any worse than it already is. I've got to go meet up with Buffy and tell her what things are like here."

Faith turned away to hide the brief flash of longing that crossed her face. _She_ wanted to go see Buffy... just to see her. Not to say anything, just to make sure that she was doing okay. But with the next flash of lightning, Angel was gone, leaving her behind with one of the most annoying people on the planet.

When Buffy saw Angel the first thing out of her mouth was, "If you lie to me then I will drive a stake through your heart."

Angel blinked slowly. "Ask me no questions and I'll tell you no lies," he said, confused at the open hostility Buffy was regarding him with. Surely their last meeting hadn't been _that_ bad.

"No jokes, Angel," Buffy said. "Not tonight. Just answer my questions and then I'll listen to whatever you have to say. I've had a rough couple of months, and I just got out of my last AA meeting."

"Alcoholics Anonymous?" Angel asked, shocked that Buffy had been drinking. _Not just that, but that she and Faith had the same problem at the same time..._ The two Slayers were a lot more alike than anyone thought, themselves included.

"I don't want to talk about," Buffy said flatly. "But yes, I had a bit of a problem. It's over now, woo-hoo big deal, let's mock the drinking Slayer when she has time to deal with it." She flipped her hair back in a gesture that Angel had always found adorable. "Now, tell me where Faith is."

Angel rocked back on his heels, caught completely off-guard. "Why would I know that?"

Buffy rolled her eyes. "Oh please. I've been hearing about things happening here through the local demon bars. There's a Slayer here, and since there's only one besides me and I haven't been here, it means that Faith is."

Angel shrugged. "It's a big city."

"And you know everything that goes on it dealing with this kind of thing. Tell me where she is and I'll leave you alone."

"Even if I did know where she was, then why would I tell you?"

"She tried to kill you, Angel!" Buffy snapped. "Don't you think that she deserves to get turned in and do her time for all of the awful things she has done?" Her left eye was twitching as she glared. That was surprising, Buffy very rarely twitched about anything.

"People change," Angel said softly.

"You know where she is." It wasn't a question this time, but a statement.

"Possibly."

"Angel!"

"Buffy, do you really think she needs to go to jail? You know her better than anyone else does, I'd think, what good would it do her?"

"She won't hurt anyone there."

"Has she hurt anyone here who doesn't deserve it?"

"Doesn't matter, doesn't erase what she has done."

There was a flash of lightning across the sky, and it lit up a nearby figure. Buffy whipped out a stake, but it fell from suddenly numb fingers when the figure's face was revealed with the next flash. "Faith," she breathed, her eyes suddenly bright with tears.

Faith smiled crookedly and shoved her hands into her pockets. "Heya B," she said quietly, dark eyes locking with Buffy's. The smile faded when she turned to Angel. "I'm turning myself in now. Do my time, possibly the rest of my life, but hell, beats livin' with Cordy."

Buffy took a step forward, to do what she didn't know, but Angel caught her arm to hold her back. "You're getting what you want," he informed the blonde Slayer. "Faith is going to turn herself into the police and let herself be taken in, even though I _told_ her to stay in the apartment." He glared at Faith to get across the point that he was not best pleased with her.

"Sorry," Faith said, shrugging her shoulders. "I just wanted to see her before I go. Catch you all later, or never." She moved forward to touch Angel's shoulder. "Thanks, I guess." Then she turned to Buffy, their eyes locking much as they had done moments before. "Sorry," Faith whispered, kissing the other Slayer very lightly before turning and walking off into the night.

Angel, confused more than he could ever remember being and he had lived a long time, was only made more confused when Buffy turned and began sobbing against his chest like a hurt child. "I'll never understand women," the vampire murmured as he stroked Buffy's hair.


	13. Mail Call

((This chapter is shorter than the last few, but it couldn't really be made longer. Plus, it's three days until my first final, so… yeah))

Buffy blinked back her tears as she looked at the picture frame. It was the one Faith had given her for the first Christmas she had known the brunette Slayer, complete with a picture of them. Back before things had become the whirl that had ended with Faith gone from her life forever.

"I've never seen that one," Tara remarked from the doorway. She was holding a laundry basket on one hip, a curious expression on her face. At the look Buffy gave her, the blonde stepped back a little. "I-I just didn't t-think anyone had a picture o-of her."

"You can come look at it," Buffy murmured, giving her head a little jerk. Maybe if she looked at it with someone who hadn't been there for everything then she wouldn't want to cry so much.

Tara set down the laundry basket and walked over, sitting down beside Buffy. "It's a-a pretty frame," she said, touching one of the tiny bottles of holy water. "Where did you get it?"

"Faith made it for me." Buffy traced one of the tiny wooden stakes, a tiny spot of red painted onto the end. "The first Christmas that she was here in Sunnydale, I invited her to come over to my house for Christmas, and she gave me this. It had to have taken a lot of time, and I've never gotten anything quite like it."

"That's because Faith gave it to you," Tara said, handing the frame back. "The two of you look very h-happy here."

Buffy tilted her head, one corner of her mouth tugged upwards in a smile. "We were," she said softly. "For awhile, we were very happy. Too much so, maybe that's why it all changed."

"You've spent too much time around Giles." Tara smiled. "You sound like him sometimes."

"Maybe," Buffy said fondly, the thought of her Watcher causing a bit of her pain at remembering Faith to fade. "I miss her."

For a moment, she thought that she had said it so softly that Tara had been unable to hear her, until she felt a gentle hand on her shoulder. "It's okay to miss her," Tara told her. "I know that I would miss Willow."

"That's different," Buffy informed her. "You two are actually in a relationship. Whatever it was that Faith and I had was just as screwed up as we are. Maybe we're just... too much for each other." And when Buffy turned to look at Tara, she found such understanding in those blue eyes that tears welled up in her own. She had not cried in front of Willow about Faith, knowing how much her red-headed friend disliked the other Slayer, but Tara was different. Buffy honestly believed that the blonde Wiccan didn't have a judgmental bone in her body. And that was all she needed.

Faith bit the end of her pen and tapped it against the page in front of her. So far the only thing written on it was 'Dear B'. She had been in jail for over a year, and it was the first time that she had actually gotten anything written when she decided to try and contact the woman who was always on her mind. But, like always, she could find no way to put what was in her head onto the paper. "Damn it all," she said in frustration, leaning back in her chair. "You're too much, B, too much."

* * *

"Mail call!" Willow exclaimed as she walked in the door, sorting through a sheaf of papers. Half got discarded as junk, a magazine got tossed to the napping Dawn, a letter from UC Sunnydale was for Tara, and a plain-looking envelope with no return address was for Buffy. "Hey Buffy," Willow said, leaning into the kitchen and tossing the letter at her best friend. "This one's for you."

Buffy caught the envelope and turned it over, confused. "Whose it from?" she asked.

Willow rolled her eyes and turned away. "I may be a witch, but I'm not psychic. Read it and find out." She kissed Tara lightly as she walked away, no doubt to look up a new spell. _That can't be healthy,_ Buffy thought before shrugging and opening the envelope, nodding at Tara as she sat down across from her.

"So whose it from?" Tara asked, using a letter opener on hers.

All of the blood drained out of Buffy's face at the sight of the familiar handwriting, though her eyes lit up in excitement. It was probably the strangest contrast that Tara had ever seen, and enough to take her mind off of the fine line her girlfriend was walking. "Faith," she whispered hoarsely. "Faith wrote me a letter."

_Dear B, _

Sorry I've never written before, it's just hard to find words to write down for you. (Plus, I never was good with writing.) I know that you pretty much hate me and probably won't give this much thought, so that hurts. But I have to try anyhow; you know me.

Being stuck in this cell has made me realize some things, not that I haven't know, just that I never fessed up to. Mostly I think about you and those times before I gutted that man, or the times that came after you tried to gut me. For awhile I was jealous of you, maybe even hated you, but after all of that gets stripped away it comes down to the same thing. Without the jealousy, the hate, the fear, the alcohol, I feel something that makes me want to run. Even when we were at the peak of whatever the fuck it was I was kind of scared. No need to be scared now, though, 'cause I'm already in jail and I'll never have to worry about acting on it. Just like you won't.

I think I love you, Buffy, but I don't expect you to feel the same. I just needed you to know before we get too old and I get too scared again.

Faith

Buffy's hands were trembling and she forgot that she was sitting in the kitchen with Tara. All that mattered were the words on the paper, especially the word 'love'. That was all that mattered, and it lit a little spark in her that hadn't dared to exist since she was ripped out of heaven. The fact that Tara had just set a fresh grilled cheese sandwhich in front of her, along with a cup of tomato soup, only made everything seem brighter. "You are an angel," she informed her friend, getting a crooked grin in reply.

"That's why I love her!" Willow shouted from the next room.


	14. Who'll Be There Now?

((Well look at this, two chapters in one weekend! What's the world coming to? Don't get all spoiled though, this is pretty much just a result of me not wanting to finish up studying for my finals or packing all of my stuff. But thanks for the reviews, I'm glad that the last chapter went over well, and enjoy this one!))

"What is wrong with you?!" Buffy demanded when she found Willow slumped in the bathroom, looking like her world had just ground to a halt. _And why shouldn't she feel that way?_ Buffy thought furiously, clenching her fists so tightly that her nails digging into her palms hurt. _Tara just walked out on her!_

"Tara's gone, Buffy," the red-head said miserably, looking up with nothing but self-pity in those deep green eyes that Tara had painted so diligently in one of those beautiful works of art of hers. "I messed up again, and she left me!"

"You're a moron," Buffy stated simply, anger threatening to explode into rage. Couldn't Willow see how good she had it with Tara, how much the other woman cared about her? And she had let magic interfere with that! "Messing around with things like that, putting something _above_ her."

"Think I don't know that?" Willow asked, a spark of anger flickering across her face. "But who are you to lecture me, with all the guys you've gone through?? At least I held Tara for a couple of years!"

Buffy didn't let that get to her, she was too full of anger. "Don't you want her back?"

"Yes!"

"Then fight for her!" Buffy was breathing heavily, a trickle of blood running down her wrist from where her nails had punctured skin. "Do what I never would!" For all she cared, Willow thought she was talking about Angel or Riley. But the only face going through her mind had thick brown hair and deep, dark eyes. "...get her back."

"Apathy is not your friend," Angel cautioned during one of his twice a month visits. He had decided to take on the role of getting Faith's mental state relatively stable without being asked, despite the counseling that Faith was already getting. She would never admit it, but the vampire actually gave better advice. "If you let it take over then you'll be the opposite of what you were, true, but you won't exactly be better because you won't care about anything."

Faith flicked a piece of dirt off her fingernail. "You're apathetic," she noted.

"No," Angel corrected. "I keep my emotions under control and do not allow them to affect my decisions. There is a difference between being in control and not caring. A very big one that you do not seem to grasp yet."

"Maybe not carin' works just as well. How would you know unless you tried them both? Let me do things my way and I won't give you another headache."

"You know I can't do that."

"Sure you can. Just turn around and walk out the door and there won't be no more problems for either of us. I'll live out the rest of my life in this pit makin' sure that everyone realizes they don't have a chance at beatin' me down." Faith waved one of her hands, still not looking at Angel. "I tried carin' about someone and nothin' good came of it, remember?"

"Something might," Angel gritted out, his patience being worn thin after nearly and hour and a half of this banter. "Stop caring and you'll never know."

"Unless I get out of here I never will either."

"Stop caring and you'll stop trying. Stop trying and you'll never see the chance you might have had. Get it yet?"

"Can we break until next time?" Faith asked, feigning a yawn. All this talk of giving up and not trying was starting to get to her. It wasn't _her_ fault that Buffy hadn't responded to her letter or come to visit. Wasn't like she could just waltz over to Sunnydale to see the blonde.

"Maybe I won't come back," Angel threatened as he pulled on the hat that kept the sun off of his face. "I don't seem to be doing any good."

"You'll come back," Faith predicted, looking up to grin at the vampire. "Because I'm a challenge and you love those."

* * *

When Buffy saw Tara come in the front door and hurry up the stairs she could not keep herself from smiling. She knew how Willow and Tara had been talking more and more, how they had had coffee together that afternoon, and she had been almost positive that the two were finally going to get back together. Everything had seemed so wrong without the blonde Wiccan at Willow's side and in the house. But now it looked like that was going to change, and thankfully it had only taken several months instead of years.

Her smile faltered a little when she heard the bedroom door close, because she knew what that meant. It meant that the two were going to be fully reconciled, and Tara was going to move back in. The Slayer was _thrilled_ to have everything back to normal... but it made her wish that she could do the same thing. Just go to Faith and make everything right, have everything the way that it was in her dreams. She could go to the jail and talk with the brunette, she knew that Angel did it several times a month, but what would she tell everyone that she was doing? Tara would understand, she seemed to understand everything, but the others?

"I know," Buffy said to the picture of Faith that was half-hidden on the mantle. At times, like now, it seemed like the picture was looking at her accusingly. She had no idea that Faith thought the same exact thing about the wallet-size, beat up picture she had stuck on her mirror of Buffy. "I'll tell Tara to tell them, and I'll leave this weekend. If they ask. If not, then no harm done at all." Her smile returned tenfold. Tara coming back into Willow's life was probably the second best thing that could ever happen.

* * *

Faith stared at Angel through the thick glass pane and shrugged her shoulders. "The one that Red was so hot for?" she asked, sounding nonchalant. At Angel's nod, the brunette shrugged again. "Listen, I didn't know this Tara girl, so bringing me this news don't do me no good." She felt a slight twinge at how Buffy might react to losing a friend, but it wasn't going to affect her. Not when she was stuck inside bars.

"I just came to tell you," Angel said solemnly. "Tara mattered a great deal to Buffy, not as much as to Willow, but still. I thought you should know."

"Thanks, I guess." _Probably mattered more than me,_ Faith thought bitterly. _Bet she would've come to visit if that Tara chick had been the one put behind bars._ As months passed with no word from the other Slayer, despite the letter Faith had written, her outlook on the entire matter had grown more and more bleak. Learning that Buffy might be subjected to a taste of that bleakness, of loss, gave her that slight twinge and nothing more. The other Slayer didn't care about her, so why should she care about her?

Letting her head roll back on her neck so that she was staring at the ceiling, she closed her eyes. The slight twinge was fading, and part of her didn't want it to. _I shouldn't care, so I won't... not about someone who doesn't even give a rat's ass about me._ And she had dared to bare her soul to that blonde-vixen.

* * *

Buffy's knees weren't just cramped, she couldn't feel them anymore and hadn't been able to for most of the night. Xander, Anya, Giles, and even Dawn had already filed away, though Dawn had left only because she had passed out from exhaustion. Willow wasn't there, Willow needed help before she could be allowed to see the grave. Everyone else, including faces of people Buffy hadn't recognized, had come and wept during the funeral. But only the Scoobies had stayed to watch the casket be buried, the tombstone erected. And when the others had left Buffy there alone she had collapsed on her knees. 

"It all feels like a dream," Buffy said at last, her voice raw. "The gun, the blood, Willow going crazy with grief, seeing you lying on the bedroom floor with your own blood pooled around you. Dawn found you after Will left, you know, and she stayed there until they took you away. She just refused to leave your side. She'd be here still, with me and you, but she hasn't slept in so long that it finally caught up to her. But don't worry, Giles and Xander will keep her safe for you." Buffy's forehead rested on the cold stone when she slipped forward, keeping her from falling on the ground. A tear fell from her eye and she did not bother to wipe it off of her cheek.

"Last funereal I went to was for my mom, and you were there after it to help me. Because you were the only one who knew what it was like, so you had all of the right words to make me feel better, to make it alright to keep crying. Whose going to be here this time? Whose going to make it alright now that you're gone?" Her throat seemed to close up and she let out a choked sob. Who was she supposed to go to when the world felt like it was trying to shake her off, when she wanted to talk about Faith to someone who would listen without judging her?

She felt her tears slip off her cheeks to run down the smooth stone, soaking into the ground that had so recently accepted Tara's body. "I'm sorry," she whispered, squeezing her eyes shut. "That bullet was meant for me, not you. I'm so, so sorry, Tara." More tears slid from her face to soak into the ground and, for a brief moment, she felt like the tears were carrying her apologies to Tara in that heavenly place she must be resting in.


	15. I Still Do

She was one of the newest arrivals to the prison, a transfer from a lower-security one. Apparently, she had killed an inmate, and put another in the infirmary. No one knew what her real name was, but she went by Knife. It had only been three days since her arrival but she had already managed to get one, and keep it hidden from the guards.

"It helps keep everyone in line," Knife sneered to the few women around her, letting the blade gleam from her sleeve. These were the ones, slightly weaker than normal, who had sought her out to make friends, and gain protection, perhaps. "I like it when they know who is in charge."

"That's not you," a passing inmate remarked, grinning. "Don't say you're what you're not, 'less you plan on stepping up to the challenge."

Knife was on her feet in an instant, standing in front of the other woman, looking down at her. "You think you're the top of the chain?"

The woman snorted. "Not likely," she remarked, jerking her head towards a lean, dark-haired young woman doing chin-ups near one corner. There were multiple other areas around her, normally popular, but they were all empty. No one seemed to want to be too close to her. "That would be her. No one messes around with her anymore."

"Her?" Knife asked increduosly, sizing the girl, for that was what she was compared to everyone else, up. She had muscles, yeah, but she wasn't very big. "She doesn't look like much at all."

"Try her out if you want," the inmate said with a shrug, lighting a cigarette. "I'd like the show."

Knife flexed her arms, feeling the edge of her blade to reassure herself. "Think I might." Without waiting for any of her new-found "companions" to warn her, she strode off towards the empty area of the compound.

For her part, the brunette didn't even look as Knife approached, continuing with her chin-ups as though she was still alone. Even when Knife cleared her throat loudly, she still kept going. Finally, the big woman said, "Hey, you."

The brunette kept on going, though she did grunt out, "Lemme alone."

Annoyed that someone would pay so little attention to her, Knife said louder, "I'm talking to you." When she still got no response, she stepped forward and reached out, intending to grab the brunette's leg and force her down unto the ground.

What happened was the brunette twisted around, her legs going around Knife's neck. Before Knife could do a thing she was flat on her back, wind knocked out of her lungs. And a pair of cold eyes, darker than the brunette's hair, were not even an inch away from hers, a hand pressed firmly on each of her shoulders. "I'm not talkin' to you, so go on your way and leave me be."

"What…" Knife started to gasp, getting her breath back. She shouldn't have hit the ground as hard as she did. She couldn't remember a time when she'd felt quite so helpless.

"Rule 'round here is real simple like," the brunette remarked, tossing her hair back, eyes still cold. "You don't mess with me, I don't mess with you. Mess with me and, well, then I'm not accountable for what state you're in when they find you. We clear?" Knife nodded, the blade up her sleeve completely forgotten. "Good." The brunette released her, turned, and jumped back on the bar. She didn't seem to be worried that Knife would try to stab her in the back, not that she had to.

"I told you she was top," the grinning inmate remarked when Knife returned, rubbing at her shoulder. "S'all set, fixed, that's how it is, that's how we leave it."

"What's her name?" Knife asked, turning to look at the lean girl. There was a glint of respect in her eyes, something that hadn't happened since she was a girl.

"I think its Faith," one of the weaker inmates, an older woman, said. "I was here when she came in, a couple years back. Should've seen what she did to them first few as tried to show her who was boss. No one's challenged her since then. No one's been that dumb."

Knife didn't say anything. For the first time, she was thinking that she'd be just fine with being second instead of first.

* * *

Buffy leaned her head against the thick glass, not hearing a word that the people to either side of her said. She didn't know why she was here, why she had come. It had been years since she had seen the other Slayer, months since she had gotten that letter. But Tara's death, Willow's going to England, Giles leaving yet again… all of that had combined to leave a sort of hole in her that she hadn't expected to be so large.

_It's been there since she left,_ Buffy admitted reluctantly. _I just don't have so much to mask it with anymore._ Dying hadn't changed what she felt, she thought that maybe being in heaven had enhanced her feelings for Faith, but coming back had been such a mess that everything that had seemed so set and fixed was tossed up in the air.

She looked up then, green eyes widening when she saw a familiar, though much leaner, face on the other side of the glass. Faith was leering at her, one finger crooked in a sort of wave. Buffy hesitated for a moment before picking up the phone that would allow her to speak with Faith.

"Well, well, look whose finally decided to come by and say hello," Faith drawled, tapping on the glass. "Down here to see one of your pet vamps or what?" There was a sharpness to her tone, like her tongue had been taken to a razor yet again.

_I deserve that._ "I came… to see you," Buffy replied, the words harder to say that she had imagined they would be. "To see how you were getting along, I guess."

Faith snorted. "I just got into a tussle with a big woman, wanted to be top of the line. Had to put her in her place before she got herself killed."

"Was a time when you just would've killed her yourself."

Faith's eyes went flat. "No, B," she said, shaking her head. "There never was a time when I would've killed someone just 'cause they messed 'round with me. You never seemed to get that one." Buffy looked away, unable to see Faith's eyes looking so flat and dead. "That what you came down here to do? Rub your morals in my face like always?"

"No," Buffy said, shaking her head. "I just wanted to see you." _And I wanted to tell you how I've felt, how I've always felt_, she added silently. But the words seemed to stick in her throat. How could she tell that to Faith now, after all that had happened? What would any of those words mean to someone who was in prison for the rest of her life?

The other Slayer's eyes softened a bit, a sad smile flitting across her face. "You got my letter."

Buffy nodded. "I did." She looked down, almost reaching out to touch the glass. "Still have it, under that frame you gave to me that first Christmas."

"I remember that," Faith said, her voice changing. It wasn't as sharp, it was more like Buffy remembered it from before all of the trouble had begun. When they had been together. That brief, happy time that she had clung to so fiercely after she had been brought back to life. "Took me forever to finish; your mom loved it."

"She did," Buffy agreed, smiling. "Tara-" here she faltered, swallowing hard at the memory of the blonde with her half-smile, "loved it too."

"Why'd you keep it?" Faith asked, a bit of the sharpness back in her tone. "Not like you ever wanted nothin' from me."

"Faith…"

"Listen, B, it's nice of you to come here, I think," Faith said, leaning back in the chair, kicking her feet up. "But you don't really talk to me, now do you?" There was a flash of something across her face, longing?, but it was gone before Buffy could be sure.

"I do," Buffy insisted quietly, her throat tightening in that too-familiar way it did before the tears started.

"Then say it," Faith said insistently, the legs of her chair banging down as she leaned forward, face practically up against the glass. There it was again, flashing across her face. Only it was there longer this time, enough for Buffy to know what it was. _Longing_.

She tried, Buffy really did, but the words wouldn't come out of her throat. She looked up, her eyes locking with Faith's, fire leaping between them. "I… I can't. I'm sorry."

Faith closed her eyes and when she opened them Buffy was surprised to see wetness gleaming there. "So am I," she said quietly. "Just go…" She hung the phone up before Buffy could say anything else. But as she stood, she leaned forward and pressed her lips to the glass. When she pulled away the sad smile was back on her face, and she had her hand pressed to the glass. Almost without thinking, Buffy pressed her hand up to the same spot, imagining a tingle of warmth. She saw Faith's lips form five words, and then the brunette was gone.

Buffy sunk back in her chair, pressing the heel of her palm to her forward. _I'm so stupid_, she berated herself, tears stinging her eyes. She was crying by the time she walked out of the prison, unable to keep the words Faith had mouthed from ringing in her eyes as clearly as though the other woman had said them aloud.

"I still love you, Buffy."


	16. From MidAir

"Got a chance here," Angel stated, leaning back in his chair like Faith did so often. After several years of seeing the Slayer on a regular basis, he was starting to pick up on a few of her habits just like she was picking up on his. "It means breaking out, but for a good reason or I'd never be suggesting it."

Faith stared blankly at Angel, not quite sure if this was another one of his jokes or not. "You're foolin' right?"

Angel shook his head. "No," he said. "I'm very serious. We're going to need your help with this, and you can't give that from in here. I know that it's not going to be hard for you."

A smirk crossed her face. "I came here to do my time," she said. "So I stay. Less you give me a real good reason, I ain't leavin'."

"Buffy needs your help."

The smirk faded away, a scowl taking it's place. "B needs my help, eh?" she asked, fixing her eyes on Angel's forehead. "Well ain't that just too bad? I shut myself up in this hell 'cause it was what she wanted me to do, and what've I gotten from her since? Nada, not even a letter or phone call to ask 'died yet bitch?'. It's a big circle that I don't wanna have no part in." Angel continued to stare at her, knowing that the brunette wasn't finished yet. "If I left, _if_, then what would happen? I'd do my bit, stop the bad guy, whatever, and get sent right back here with even more time to rot 'cause I broke out. I see nothin' that makes me wanna leave."

"You won't have to come back."

"B's goody-two-shoe side won't let me stay out. I've played this round."

Angel sighed. "Just trust me, okay? Break out and go back with Willow to Sunnydale."

"Whoa!" Faith exclaimed, throwing her hands up. "You forgot that part. You want me to travel somewhere with _Red_? Girl hates me 'bout as much as I do her."

The next day Faith, dressed in clothes much more flattering than orange prison garb, was glaring at Willow instead of Angel. "Let's get one thing straight, girly," she said, shouldering her backpack. "Only reason I'm here is 'cause Angel asked me to be, said you needed my help." _Because B needs it. And maybe because it'll give me a chance to break the circle and let it play out the way it should._

Willow returned the glare with interest. "Do you think I like the idea of sharing a house with you? No, didn't think so. I have this funny thing against people who take over my best friend's body and try to kill us all." It was the new beginning of a friendship that promised to be just as hostile as it always had.

**-----**

"Can't you drive any faster?" Faith asked, sticking her feet up on the dashboard. "I'd like to get to Sunnydale sometime this month."

Willow glared at Faith. "Listen here, you- oh my goddess!" She slammed on the brakes, earning herself a rain of curses from Faith. When the car completely stopped, she threw her door open and jumped out, running towards where what looked like a girl was lying on the black road.

Faith opened her door and sauntered over to where Willow was kneeling down. She heard what Willow said about the hospital but saw no reason to respond."Yep. Guess I'm back in Sunnydale." And that meant she was almost back to Buffy for the first time in way too long, or not long enough. Not even a girl lying in the middle of blacktop, bleeding from a stomach wound after getting thrown from a bus was enough to take her mind off of that fact.

"A little help here!" Willow snapped, motioning at the girl and the car. "You've got all that Slayer-strength, now why don't you use it for something useful?"

"Keep your panties on, Red," Faith retorted, bending down to pick the girl up easily. "Let's get her to the hospital and then get to the house. I don't want to spend a lot of time out tonight." She wanted to see Buffy, but she wasn't sure if she wanted to see her again to slap her or hug her.

"Trust me, I don't want to spend any longer with you than I have to," Willow muttered, opening the door for the girl. Faith just smirked at her, loving how easy it was to annoy the witch.

Miles away Buffy, who had just defended Spike's new soul again, felt a tingle run down her spine. She turned, gazing out at the black night. "Wonder what that was for..."

------

"Girls been gutted like a catfish," Faith remarked, jerking her thumb towards where the surgeons were operating. "Doubt she'll wake up and tell us what we want to know. But then, she'll be in the same boat as me so we'll probably be best friends." Willow said nothing when Faith glanced over at her. "Something's killing girls all over the world, tryin' to end the Slayer line. Thing like that, figure I might get a heads up." Her tone was accusing, and she fully believed that she had every right to be angry with everyone who had known and not told her.

Willow dropped her hands to her side and shook her head. "Faith..."

Faith threw her hands up into the air, not caring if anyone saw just how much this bothered her. "Guess it doesn't really matter as long as you've got the true Slayer intact, eh? Just let Faith get offed."

"You were in prison. Figured you were safe there," Willow explained.

"Yeah, that's prison. Safe as a kitten," Faith said sarcastically.

Willow finally turned to look at Faith. "Sorry, I don't know much about the big house. Was it- I mean, did something happen there?"

"Someone came at me with a nasty looking knife. Didn't know why 'til now." It was a very unpleasant memory, and one that she had done her best to suppress. One of the first things she had done in prison was establish that she was not to be messed with, and everyone had accepted it after a few minor scuffles. For over a year she had not needed to worry, and then someone had come at her out of mid-air and nearly succeeded in gutting her, because she hadn't thought anyone would have a reason to try to mess with her. _If they would have warned me..._

"Oh, Faith, we didn't-"

"Forget it. It's cool. I get by." _By myself, like I always do. None of you feel the need to give me a second thought, not even_ her _and I should be used to that by now._ "What're we gonna do about her?"

Willow didn't seem to have a problem buying it. "Uh, I guess we should find Buffy, tell her what's going on. I-I tried calling home. Dawn says she's out patrolling."

"Let's go look for her." She turned and started away. "Cemetery's more fun anyways."

"Wait, someone should wait here in case she wakes up."

"Fine, sit tight. I'll be back." No way she was going to be the one to wait around for some girl she didn't even know to wake up when she could be out looking for Buffy.

"W-w-wait," Willow said. ""Uh, maybe you meeting Buffy alone isn't the best idea."

_Oh please._ "You told her the sitch, right? She knows I'm coming. Probably been up all night hanging streamers." Faith grinned, sarcasm evident in her smile and voice.

"Yeah, but it's not like you're study buddies, exactly. Maybe it'd be better if I...eased her into the whole thing." _Not study buddies, no, but you've got no idea of what we used to be, little miss red._

"I can't stay here, Willow. Spent way too much time in hospitals. We don't click. Don't worry." She flashed another grin. "I'm sure we'll get along just fine." _Presuming that I don't piss her off and she doesn't piss me off so that neither of us has a reason to want to kill the other this time around._

Faith let out a small grunt as she fell to the ground, her face throbbing from the hit she had just taken. She looked up, shocked when she saw that it was Buffy who had hit her. "Sorry, Faith. I didn't realize that was you." But there was no remorse in her voice, not that Faith had truly expected any. _Looks like we're gonna play it the hard way._

"It's all right, B. You still punch like you used to."

That earned her a glare before Buffy turned to Spike. "You OK?"

"Yeah. Terrific."

The look of shock on Faith's face was genuine. "Are you protecting vampires? Are you the bad Slayer now? Am I the good Slayer now?"

"Um, no. This one has a soul, he's with me."

"Oh, he's like Angel?" After spending years with Angel as her only outside contact, Faith had grown used to the idea that once in awhile, vampires could be good.

"No," Spike said firmly, waggling his finger in the air. "I am nothing like Angel."

Faith smirked at him as she stood up. "Obviously not. Angel's got some taste at least."

Spike jerked a thumb in Faith's direction. "Is she always this bloody annoying?"

"I do my best," Faith replied, reaching into Buffy's pocket to pull out a stake. "Thanks, B, I knew that I forgot something when Red and I stopped by the Slayer store."

"One of these days you'll get your own supply," Buffy growled.

"Now why would I want to do that when I've got you here?" Faith asked, trying to look innocent.

Buffy rolled her eyes, the sliver of a smile showing through. "Nice to have you back." 


	17. Hard Choices

Buffy shut her door firmly behind her and leaned against it, breathing like she had just a marathon. She knew what she had to do, and had it been a few days ago it would have been the slightest bit easier. But now... now she had more on her mind than the upcoming war, hardly trained Potentials, and the problems that existed within the house. Because Willow had done exactly what she said she was going to, she had brought Faith back to Sunnydale. And the first thing that Buffy had done upon seeing the other Slayer was to hit her square in the face. Not just because she had been attacking Spike, it was reasonable that she really hadn't know he was on their side, but because she had been so angry that Faith had actually come back when she needed her. "I could have said I needed her a year ago, when they brought me back from the dead, and she would have broken out of prison to come back for me. How stupid am I?!"

Not that it mattered right now. Faith had come back for her, yes, but it was because she needed help with something Slayer-related. Those feelings that they had had all those years ago may have still been a part of her, but it looked like Faith had managed to forget. "I'll just have to get used to that," Buffy told herself, unsure of whether or not she'd be able to. If she hadn't yet, separated from the brunette, then why should she be able to now with her living in the same house? "Have to try." And she'd start being tested right then, because she was about to go out to scout the area with Faith.

"We're going to follow that one," Buffy whispered, pointing towards a Bringer that was striding purposefully away from them. "See if he leads us where we want to go."

"No eyes, but look at him go. He got sonar or something?" Faith asked, shoving her hands into her pockets as she started off.

"Or something, I guess. Pretty good when they attack." She thought she was doing a pretty good job of not thinking of Faith any differently than she would Willow.

"Do they just roam free around town?"

"Well, normally, they show up out of nowhere, and then either stab or get stabbed, and then they run off. Looks like this guy wants to be found."

"Lends weight to the whole 'it's a trap' theory," Faith remarked, giving Buffy a look that clearly said she shared the theory.

That hit the wrong nerve, the same one that everyone else had been abusing all day. "I'm through waiting around for people to attack us," she snapped. "You got a better idea then let me hear it. But otherwise, don't criticize me."

Faith pulled her hands out of her pockets to hold them up in front of her. "Hey, I'm with you. Drop me in the hornet's nest, what the hell? You got a rough sitch here, trying to turn a bunch of little girls into an army..."

"They're potential Slayers, just like we were," Buffy pointed out, relaxing a little. Faith wasn't trying to tell her not to do anything. How could she have forgotten that Faith had a reckless streak a mile wide?

"One day they might even be as good as us," Faith said, only a little bit of sarcasm showing through.

"They're getting better," Buffy said defensively. She was actually a little proud of the progress of a few of them. With the exception of Kennedy. There were too many things about the potential that bothered her; the main one being that she wasn't Tara and she was dating Willow.

"I'll work with 'em. Some of 'em seem real eager. Fashion disasters, yeah, but they're ready to fight."

Buffy stopped walking, suddenly feeling the need to know why Faith was back. "What are you doing here?" she asked. Her rational side hoped that Faith would give a simple, brief answer that gave her no hope at all. But another part wanted Faith to say that she had come back because she missed her... or something like that.

Shrugging, Faith looked over her shoulder at Buffy. "Willow said you needed me. Didn't give it a lot of thought. Do you—Am I getting you want me to be not here?" For a moment, Buffy thought that she saw a flicker of doubt in those dark eyes, but it was gone in an instant. _Probably seeing things, she's only here to help. Because Angel and Willow got her here. Not just for me._ "Because I busted out of prison to come and help you. Kinda figured you'd be a little appreciative."

Buffy let out a sigh that was a mix of relief and disappointment. "No, that's not what I meant. I'm..." She hesitated, searching for the words that would make it seem like she was just grateful that Faith had come to help with the problem. "Glad that you're here. It's good. Thank you."

"No problem. You know me, all about the good deeds." She flashed Buffy the smile that had always set off butterflies in her stomach, and Buffy couldn't help but smile back. Maybe she would be able to pull this off after all. "Hold up, B," Faith hissed suddenly, grabbing Buffy's arm and pulling her down behind a bush. "Looks like our little Bringer has brought us right where we need to be." Sure enough, the Bringer had gone into what looked like an abandoned barn. Through a few windows she could see that there were more milling about.

"Let's get the cavalry," Buffy said, her grin widening when she saw that Faith had a slightly wild look in her eyes. She remembered that expression, the brunette always had it when she was about to do something exhilarating.

"God, B, you have no idea how much I've missed my work."

* * *

It took a good two hours, but she had finally found her, walking down the middle of the moonlit street. From what Faith could see of her face, Buffy looked like a person who had just been told that she had lost her entire family in some terrible car accident. But no, Faith knew that it was worse than that. The blonde Slayer had had to watch two girls die because of a choice she had made. Faith had supported it, but then, everyone knew that she was more than a little eager when the chance to fight presented itself. And it hadn't been her choice, it had been Buffy's. Buffy was the leader of this little army and she wouldn't do anything but take the whole burden on herself.

"You know, I think that's what always irritated me about you," Faith said loudly, stepping out from behind a tree and crossing her arms in front of her chest.

Buffy turned to face her, green eyes dull. "Everything about me bothers you, Faith. Or didn't you figure that out when you tried to kill me?"

"Nah, that was just because you weren't on my side," Faith said the lie perfectly, years of practice paying off. She didn't think that Buffy knew that the real reason she had turned to the Mayor had been because she knew that Buffy was disgusted by what she had done. And, for some reason, she thought that it should stay that way.

Buffy started back down the street towards Faith. "I was on your side until the day you got all pal-y with the Mayor," she informed Faith, stopping with about half a foot of air still between them. "Not that it matters now. That's the past, this is the present. All that matters is what we've got to fight now, not what we had to fight then."

"Don't go all philisophical on me now. I said 'I think that's what always irritated me about you.' You're supposed to pick it up from there."

"Faith, I don't want to do this. Why don't you go back to the house and just... do whatever it is you do."

"Humor me a little."

"Fine. What irritates me about you?"

"You're... wait." Faith grinned and shook her head. "You did that on purpose, B. But I'll answer like you said it right. You just radiate 'hero', and a tragic one at that. Look at you now, sulkin' down the street like someone killed off the little brat. You gotta buck up, B, these girls are countin' on you."

"Are you trying to lecture me, Faith?" Buffy asked quietly, the dullness in her eyes replaced with something that looked a lot like anger. _Good,_ Faith thought. _If I can get her mad enough then maybe she'll get over this._

"Nope, I'm tryin' to get you riled up so that you'll stop looking like that."

"I got those girls _killed_, Faith, and just because I was tired of waiting. They weren't ready, everyone said they weren't, but I didn't listen. If you had done it, then you'd probably look like me too."

"Never, I'm so much hotter." When Buffy didn't crack a smile, Faith sighed. "B, Buffy, come on. Girls are gonna die in this, we all know it, you can't just plop on your ass and cry 'it's all my fault' every last time it happens, or you're gonna spend a lot of time on the ground."

Buffy blinked and stood still for a couple of minutes before stepping forward quickly. Faith tensed instantly, expecting a punch or slap, and was shocked when Buffy threw her arms around her and hugged her tightly. "I've missed you," she whispered, burying her face in Faith's shoulder. "No one else is that honest, and no one else knows what it's like... to be a Slayer."

It took a couple of moments, but Faith finally untensed, her hand going up to stroke Buffy's hair. "It'll be okay," she said soothingly. "Shhh, it'll be alright." It was a little hard to hold Buffy again, she kept thinking of the last time she had, but Faith wasn't about to push away a friend in need. Buffy _was_ her friend, despite everything else, and she needed her. Not just to help fight the bad guys, but to help with everything else to.

They stayed there, in the middle of that deserted road, for hours. Buffy cried herself right to sleep after about an hour, but instead of taking her back to the house, Faith settled onto the ground and cradled Buffy against her. _Until she wakes up I can pretend that she feels like she used to, before I killed that man,_ Faith told herself, kissing Buffy's forehead very lightly before turning to watch the sunrise.


	18. Stuck in the Middle

((Beware... I don't like Kennedy, and it is expressed quite well here. As always - thank you very much for the reviews, they are always appreciated. As are those little messages some of you have sent me.))

Faith hopped up on the counter and popped open the bag of chips, surprised at how nice it felt to be able to just eat whatever she wanted whenever she wanted without having to trade or barter for it. _Life on the outside is so much sweeter,_ she thought as she munched on a chip, _especially after you've been on the inside._

She was just enjoying the silence, a welcome change from hearing the chatting or bickering of the Potentials, when one of the brats sauntered in. "Oh man," Faith muttered into the bag when she saw which one it was. Kennedy, the one Faith labeled as a spoiled brat, who seemed to have wormed her way into Willow's affections. If there was one of the Potentials that she would have voted to avoid then it was Kennedy. Even the preppy one was better.

"Got enough to share?" Kennedy asked, crossing her arms and nodding towards the bag.

_Why the hell did Buffy let this brat into the house?_ Faith asked herself, _even she has more sense than this on her bad days._ "Trade ya for a carton of cigarettes and some soap," she said aloud, hiding her amusement at the look of confusion that flashed across the brat's face. "Sorry. Habit." Deciding that maybe pissing off one Potential would spread to the rest, Faith tossed her the bag. "Shouldn't you be down at Hogwarts?"

Kennedy shrugged, taking a few chips before handing the bag back. "Probably."

Faith couldn't help but grin. "All right. Playin' hooky. Score one for the boarding school brat." She tallied a mark on an invisible chalkboard in the air in front of her, smirking at the look that flashed across Kennedy's face. "And then score two for me for gettin' a rise outta you." She made two slashing motions. "Gotcha beat girlie."

She was pretty sure that Kennedy was about to say something, which would have made the day even better, she heard Buffy come in. "Hey, who's here?" she called.

"Looks like our fearless leader's back," Faith remarked, putting her hands behind her head and leaning back.

"More like spineless," Kennedy muttered, matching Faith's glare with one of her own.

"Oh you won't be wantin' to say that again, little girl," Faith said warningly. "Or you'll find yourself tanglin' with me, and it won't be for the trainin', it'll be to kick your ass."

Amanda, one of the other Potentials, nearly choked on her chip laughing. "Hi Buffy," she said when the blonde walked in. "How's Xander doing?" If Faith hadn't known any better, then she would have said that Amanda was the one she had caught staring at Xander the other day.

Buffy looked up, a false smile plastered across her face as she down several files. "He's doing really well. He's ready to come home, I think."

"Whatcha got there?" Faith asked, picking up another file and rifling through it. She didn't really care, the bags under Buffy's eyes had caught her attention and despite herself, she was worried.

"Info that Giles and Willow were able to pull off the police database. We figured with Caleb's, you know, overt religiosity thing if we wanna learn more about him, let's find out where he's been."

"Woo-hoo, listen to this, "Incidents of violence and vandalism connected to California religious institutions in the last 10 years." Looks like this gives us a place to start," Faith said, closing the file and holding it out to Buffy. "Should've brought Red back with you, she's good with things like this, ain't she?" Feeling the need to be vindictive, the brat had insulted Buffy after all, Faith added, "That Tara girl was good at it too, from all that I've heard from Dawn."

Kennedy took a step forward, her fists clenching at her sides. "I could do it," she said through tightly clenched teeth. "The research."

"I don't think so," Dawn said as she slipped up and took most of the files from the tabletop where Buffy had dropped them. "You're supposed to training your body up, and I'm pretty sure that you wouldn't do too hot if it came to the researching thing. Requires a whole different muscle in the body, and yours, well-"

"Whoa," Faith said with a laugh, clapping Dawn on the shoulder. "Looks like your little sis has got quite a backbone on her."

"Don't touch me," Dawn said absently, not looking up from the file she was reading. "I still don't like you. You're just really useful is all."

"I can see why Spike likes you now," Faith remarked before looking over at Buffy. "Yo, B, got a question for you. Mind takin' a bit of a stroll away from the prying ears of little sis and all the little girls in training?"

"Sure," Buffy replied. "I've got to make a run by my old office anyhow, that should be a long enough walk. All of you get off to work." She turned back to Faith, who popped a chip into her mouth.

"You look like you need to eat," Faith informed her, holding up another chip as Buffy chewed. "Looks like you haven't been eatin' much lately at all. Have some chips, they're pretty damn good." She shoved the bag into Buffy's hands and strolled out the front door, her smirk widening at the feel of Kennedy's eyes following her. _That girl is going to make my life so much fun._ "I don't know what Red sees in her."

The two Slayers walked side-by-side through the semi-crowded streets. "They're all runnin' like cowards," Faith scoffed, elbowing Buffy and pointing to a pickup truck stuffed to overflowing with furniture. "And they're tryin' to take everything with."

Buffy somehow managed to pull up a weak smile at Faith's comment. It wasn't that she didn't appreciate the other Slayer, she just wasn't sure if she was one hundred percent sure of how to deal with her yet. That would have to come later, when the world wasn't facing yet another apocalypse. "You'd think they'd never seen the end of the world coming before."

Faith laughed loudly, causing a man in a nearby car to gap at her as though she were insane. _Which she pretty much is,_ Buffy thought. _To do any of these things, we all have to be insane. And her, well, she's... yeah, she's Faith._ "Cowards the load of them," Faith said. "If all of them could learn out to fight, then it'd definitely be an interestin' battle. Course, already will be, what with those half-trained girls you've got at the house."

"So what did you want to talk about?" Buffy asked. She had a feeling that maybe there wasn't a reason, but the silence was going to drive her insane if it started up again.

"You looked like you needed to get away from that mess. I just thought that I'd make a good excuse, 'cause no one ever expects me to do anything nice for you."

"I don't expect you to either, so you don't have to."

"Eh," Faith said with a shrug. "It's not out of my way, I needed some time away from them too. That brat Kennedy was hittin' on all the wrong nerves. I'm surprised you can put up with her."

"Can't. She's a Potential, though, so it's what I have to do. Plus, Willow's kinda into her." She wasn't fully sure of why, Kennedy just didn't seem like Willow's type. _Because she's not Tara._ Buffy would have given so much if only Tara was there to help them, Willow had always worked better with the blonde witch around.

"Gotta admire that in ya, B," Faith said, clapping Buffy on the shoulder. "Listen, B, about all that happened before-"

Buffy's throat clenched and she shook her head, looking down at her feet instead of at Faith. "Not now, Faith, okay? When this is all done and over, then we can talk. But until then I'm just not ready."

"Gonna give me a reason why?" Faith asked, her voice a little tense. "Or do you just expect me to sit and wait like a good little puppy?"

"It's like we're stuck in the middle right now," Buffy explained. "Behind us is all of that trouble and... and..." A vivid memory of Faith's hands roaming over her body caused her to bite down on her lip. "And whatever it was that we had. Now we've got a major problem, and we can't deal with what happened then until we're done with what's happening now. If that even makes sense."

"Whatever B, looks like your call." Faith shoved her hands deep into the pocket of that red leather jacket of hers, how she still had it Buffy had no clue, and nodded back towards the house. "I'll go keep on eye on the kiddies while you're gone."

Faith had gone about teen feet when Buffy turned. "Faith!"

The brunette turned. "Yeah?"

"I'm sorry," Buffy said. "That you had to come back in the middle of all of this, that everything's like-"

"Don't be," Faith told her, that self-mocking smile making its first appearance since Buffy had seen her. "You needed me and I came runnin'. Always will." She saluted Buffy and turned to keep walking. Buffy watched until the other Slayer was out of sight before turning and going on her own way.

* * *

"Nice little rumble," Faith said with a grin as the last cop sank to the ground, unconscious.

"Faith!" an unmistakable voice shouted behind her. "What are you doing?"

Faith shrugged and leaned against the wall, arms crossed over her chest. "Just blowing off steam," she replied. "Well, it started that way. Turned when the cops went evil on us." _Even when she makes major mistakes, she's still all self-righteous and pissy if I put a toe outta line._ Because the look on the blonde's face was unmistakable pissed.

Buffy looked at the Potentials who had gathered around. "Girls, go home," she said, glaring at Faith. "I need to talk to Faith for a minute."

"If you two are going to go at it then I say that we say and see what it's like," Kennedy said. "Maybe then we can learn something for real instead of Anya's lectures and diagrams."

"We're not here for your entertainment, Kennedy," Buffy informed her, eyes still locked on Faith. "Now do as I said, and go home."

"Who died and made you boss?" Kennedy demanded, her dark eyes flashing. "Faith's a Slayer too, and she said-"

"Shut up," Faith interrupted, not wanting to listen to yet another one of Kennedy's tirades. "Remember that little chat we had earlier about me kickin' your ass? I'm pumped now, and it would make my day. B gave you an order, you follow it and get goin' or I help you on your way and you don't sit right for awhile." Kennedy's mouth dropped open and she turned and stomped off, the other girls following with a mix of amused or apprehensive looks on their faces. "Alright B, lemme have it."

"What is this?" Buffy demanded, waving at the unconscious cops and the one who had made little progress in limping away. "Are you insane? No wait, scratch that, are you _more_ insane than before you got locked up? They experiment on you in that jail cell?"

"They needed a break, all right? They've been running themselves into the ground. Things just got out of hand. It's no big deal, B."

"Taking a break is one thing—I get blowing off steam—but they were fighting. And those girls were drunk! What were you thinking?!" Buffy's voice had been getting steadily louder and louder, until she was practically screaming at the end.

Faith just shrugged, refusing to let Buffy get her riled up. "Seemed like a good idea at the time."

"Yeah, what if someone had gotten hurt?"

"They didn't," Faith pointed out. "So no problem, it's all five-by-five."

"No it's not," Buffy snapped. "Faith, I need to know that these girls are gonna be safe when I'm not around." Some of the anger slipped off her face. "I trusted you with them."

"No one got hurt, B. Look, you don't even know these girls. Maybe you should have a little more confidence in 'em, let them mess up sometimes, you know, get down and dirty. How the hell else are they gonna learn? It's how I learned, how you learned. Why should we treat them any different?" To hell with getting pissed, Buffy was acting like she had never made a mistake, and _that_ was almost as annoying as Kennedy.

"Learning from your mistakes is one thing, that's what we did. "But you don't throw children into-"

"They're not children, some of them are older than we were!"

"That really isn't the point," Buffy said coldly, turning her back on Faith.

_Screw this._ "What about the vineyard?"

That stopped the blonde in her tracks and she she turned slowly, her expression unreadable. "What?"

"How safe were they when you dragged them off to meet Caleb? How safe was Rona or Amanda or Molly?"

Pure rage lit a fire in Buffy's eyes and Faith wasn't the least bit surprised when she got shoved up against the wall. "I had to make a choice," Buffy snarled in her face, hands clutching Faith's shoulders hard enough to bruise. "We had no way of knowing he was that strong, _I couldn't have known_. What would you of done if you'd been me, huh? If you were in charge and had to make all of the choices, had to lead these little girls around by the hand, making sure that they don't trip and fall to their death?" Her green eyes bored into Faith's. "What would you do?"

"I'd go it alone," Faith replied, "like I always have."

"You're not a leader, that's where we're different." A flicker of something other than anger played around the corner of those green eyes, causing Faith's heart to jump.

"I'm also not afraid," Faith said, unsure of whether she was talking about Caleb or the obvious tension that was building up between them.

"Neither am I."

"Prove it." Faith put her hands on Buffy's hips and drew the blonde even closer, needing only to lean forward a hair to capture Buffy's lips with her own.

There was nothing romantic about it, nothing sweet or tender. It was pure passion and fire, lips pressed hard enough to bruise, teeth biting and tongues tangling. Buffy's nails tore right through the fabric of Faith's shirt and into her skin, causing the brunette to let out a moan that was half pain, half pleasure. They had to come apart for oxygen, both breathing heavily. Faith searched Buffy's face, finding no anger or surprise there. Only passion, desire, and a little bit of what might be pain. She brought one hand up to stroke Buffy's cheek gently, surprised when the blonde leaned into the motion.

"You've gotta let the children grow up," Faith said, needing to get it out.

Buffy yanked away from her, green eyes cold once more. "I'll figure out what we need to do, I always do."

"Yeah, and your plans don't always end with rainbows and sprinkles." She might've just kissed her, but Faith wasn't about to let Buffy think that she knew what she was doing.

"At least I don't switch sides."

"Ohhh, you had to bring that up, didn't you? Couldn't just leave it alone. No, you don't switch sides, you just get people on your side killed or blinded."

The right-handed hook took Faith by complete surprise and she fell down. When she looked up Buffy was striding away, wiping at her eyes. She could have gotten up and gone after her, apologizing for what she had said, but she stayed on the ground. Buffy still had feelings for her somewhere, but that wasn't what mattered now. What mattered was getting the blonde back to her old self. To where she wouldn't throw the lives of the Potentials, even Kennedy, away.

* * *

"Isn't Faith a Slayer too?" Rona asked suddenly.

Faith's eyes widened and she held her hands up, taking a step back. "Whoa there girlie, rein in your horse before you hurt yourself. I'm not in charge chick. I think B here needs to just...chill out for a little bit, take a siesta or something. But I'm not the one you want."

"Maybe we need a vote," Kennedy piped in, a thoughtful expression on her face. "To see who wants Faith to have a turn in charge."

"I said I didn't want a turn," Faith told her, eyes narrowed.

"No," Buffy said sternly.

"No what?" Kennedy asked, not even acknowledging the glare that Faith was sending her way.

"No. You don't get to vote until I've had my chance to pal around, you know, get everybody drunk." Faith tensed up. There was something in Buffy's tone that made it very clear that she didn't think Faith was capable at all of being in charge. And that wasn't going to be tolerated. "See, I didn't get this was a popularity contest. I should have equal time to bake them cookies, braid their hair—"

"Learn their names?" Faith added in, unable to restrain herself.

Buffy laughed nastily. "You're just loving this, aren't you?"

"You have _no_ idea what I'm feeling," Faith said quietly, her fists clenching.

"Come in here, take everything that I have... You did it before. Did you tell them that?" Buffy had stepped forward, her eyes locked with Faith's. "Did you tell them how you used to kill people for fun? Hey, you guys think that's nifty?"

If Buffy had hit Faith again, it would have hurt less than hearing her say those things did. She bit her lip and looked away, fighting to keep her mask of anger up so that no one else would see how deep Buffy's words had gone.

"Buffy, that's enough!" Giles snapped.

"How did we get to this?" Buffy demanded. "How did you get the idea that _she'd_ be better than me?" She looked around the circle, anger and confusion practically radiating.

"You're being reckless, Buffy," Willow pointed out, sounding like a puppy that had just been kicked. "I'm sorry, but we can't follow you back there, not after what happened."

"You can't follow her," Buffy insisted. "She tried to kill me!" _And an hour ago you were making out with me,_ Faith thought, her emotions boiling. "I can't stay and watch her lead you into some disaster."

"Oh, like you're the saint who never did," Faith snapped, tired of it being played like she was a monster. "I could tell these kids things about you that'd stand their hair on end."

"Everyone makes mistakes," Willow pointed out.

"She'll get you killed, and I refuse to watch it happen!" Buffy shouted.

"Then you can't stay here," Dawn said quietly, speaking up for the first time since her sister had walked in. "I'm sorry, but this is my house too."

Buffy didn't say a word, she just turned and walked out. The awkward silence that followed was broken by Kennedy saying, "Ding dong, the witch is dead."

"That is _it_!" Faith snapped, stalking over and slapping Kennedy right on the face. The girl let out a small yelp and stumbled to the ground. Faith jerked Kennedy up by the elbow and gave her a good shake. "I've told you time and time again, girl, that you need to stop runnin' off that trap of yours." She shoved Kennedy back into the arms of Willow, who looked pissed and yet resigned and looked at all of the other Potentials. "Until you know what it's like to be what me and Buffy are, you can't even pretend to know what the hell you're talkin' about." She sneered, "Stupid little chits," and stormed out the door.

Buffy was leaning against the wall of the house, her eyes clenched shut as tightly as her fists. "Look, I swear I didn't want it to go this way-"

"Don't," Buffy said sternly. "Just don't, Faith, okay?"

"I mean it," Faith insisted, stretching a hand out to touch Buffy's arm comfortingly. "I don't want to be in charge here, it's not my thing. I'm five-by-five with bein' the annoyin' one pointin' out all the flaws and chargin' in with guns blazin' and no plan at all."

"Don't be afraid to lead them," Buffy continued, looking out at the night sky. Faith was surprised to see that her face was streaked with tears. "Whether you wanted it or not, their lives are yours. It's only gonna get harder. Protect them," she looked directly at Faith, her green eyes swimming with tears, "but lead them. You're not as incompetent as I made you out to be, you can handle it while I'm gone."

"Don't stray too far," Faith warned, leaning forward to kiss Buffy's forehead. "Might be needin' you."

"I will be back," Buffy said. "With proof." She touched Faith's cheek gently, nodded her head, and turned and walked off.

Faith sighed and ran her hand through her hair. "This is gonna be one wild ride," she muttered as she started back into the house.


	19. Possible Triangle

Faith felt like her head was about to explode from all of the voices clambering to be heard around her. There were the regulars, and then there were all of the Potentials, sounding more like a group of maniacal seagulls than anything else. If not for the fact that she was still a little shocked over being left alone with them, Buffy already gone, then she probably would have vaulted through the window and run off for the graveyard. Dead people and vampires were a lot more fun than this crowd.

"Everyone, listen to me. Chill. All right? It's been a long night, and I don't know about you, but I'm wiped. Maybe we should catch some sleep and figure all this out in the morning.," she said, holding her hands up.

Of course, Kennedy had to open her mouth and demand, "Do we really have time to waste?"

"Look," Faith said, trying to keep her teeth from grinding together. "I understand you guys are wicked stressed. Frankly, our situation blows. We've got to say cool, that's the only way we're gonna get through this. Can everyone handle that?" Her dark eyes went immediately to Kennedy, daring the girl to question her again. She would have loved a reason to tangle with the small, dark Potential.

"Alright," Vi said, taking deep breaths. She seemed like the calmest one of all. "We'll get some rest and then tomorrow things won't seem so- hey!" She yelped when the lights suddenly went out, and the quiet that had fallen was broken by all of the girls gasping, demanding what was going on.

"Lights are out all up the street," Faith remarked, peering out the window. "Looks like the people in charge of the electricity got the hell out."

"Which means?" Amanda asked, sounding uneasy.

"That we might have trouble seeing for awhile." Faith ran a hand through her hair as Vi remarked that now she was freaking out, wishing more than anything that Buffy was there. The blonde knew how to be in charge, she would know how to handle this. Faith, on the other hand, didn't want to be in charge of this gaggle of teenage trouble. For god's sake, they were freaking out because the lights were gone! _This is going to be a very, very long night._

------------

If it wouldn't have gotten her attacked, most likely by Red with all her insane magical powers, then Faith would have reached across the table and strangled Kennedy with her bare hands. The dark-haired potential seemed to think that just because Buffy was gone she could now say and do whatever she wanted to. _Not happening little girl,_ Faith thought, her eyes narrowing when Kennedy made a particularly nasty remark. _You all wanted me in charge, and now I'm in charge. You can't try to push me around just because you helped to put me here._

"I thought things would be different now," Kennedy said, leaning back in her chair, nostrils flaring. "But no, you keep shutting me down. I'm not a little girl, Faith, you need to listen-"

"No, actually, I don't," Faith said, cutting her off and rising to her feet. "Things are different, because now... I'm your boss. Look, you guys, I'm not Buffy. I'm not the one who's been on your asses all this time, but I'm not one of you anymore, either. I'm your leader, which means I go first, and I make the rules, and the rest of you follow after me. Is that clear? So, Kennedy." She pointed a finger at her, voice rising and her eyes narrowed dangerously. "Back the hell off, and let me do my job, all right? OK, let's get down to business." She rubbed her hands together and settled back into her chair, arms behind her head.

It took a couple of hours, and lots of threats to Kennedy, but Faith finally had a plan hammered out that wasn't getting as many arguments. Kennedy looked like a sullen child again, which made Faith feel rather good, and everyone else seemed content. Of course, one of the reasons why Kennedy looked so sullen was doubtlessly because she was going to be the bait, but she was the most believable one to wander off on her own. Willow seemed a little upset by it too, but she didn't argue, surprisingly.

Faith settled onto a couch in the living room, feeling a little anxious, as the potentials and Giles went off to execute the plan and bring back a Bringer. "Bring back a Bringer," she said with a snort, popping the top off of a can of Pepsi. "That sounds too ironic."

"You seem anxious," Willow remarked as she sat down beside her. "Is it because you're worried something will go wrong?"

"Don't try to play with my head, Red," Faith said warningly, waving a finger at her. "Maybe I'm a little on edge about that, maybe I'm not. What's it matter to you?"

Willow didn't answer, instead she started to draw little glowing shapes in the air, causing chills to run down Faith's spine. Hadn't someone said that Willow didn't use magic so much anymore? "You don't want to be the one in charge," she said simply, flipping a lock of red hair over one shoulder. One of the shapes solidified into a glowing sphere, another a triangle, and Willow began to juggle the two slowly. "You wish Buffy was here with us, like she used to be. You're not the only one, but it's surprising that you are one."

"I thought I just told you to not try playin' with my head," Faith snapped, shifting uneasily. What was the witch up to?

"I'm not playing with your head," Willow said calming, the sphere and triangle going faster now. "I just want to know something, and I'm not sure if you'll tell me if I just ask you. You never did like answering my questions."

"That's because your questions are normally way out there, Red. But shoot, let's see if I think your question is worth it."

"Are you in love with my best friend?" Willow asked bluntly, the two shapes now a blur in her hands. Her green eyes were calm, and focused on Faith.

A faint sheen of sweat broke out on Faith's forehead and, instead of playing it cool, she jumped up from the couch with her hands held out in front of her as though to ward the red-head off. "Whoa there, Red, slow it down. I ain't in love with no one, we clear?"

One corner of Willow's mouth tugged upwards in a smile, the shapes slowing over her hands. "Yeah, I've heard that before," she said, and the glowing shapes vanished completely. "I said that about Tara." She patted a stunned Faith on the shoulder before walking away, humming under her breath.

_What the hell just happened...?_ Faith asked herself, completely bewildered.

----------

When Spike walked into the house Faith tensed up, knowing that something bad was going to go down. The vampire had it bad for Buffy, everyone knew that, she even knew that they had messed around a bit over a year ago. It set the hair on the back of her neck on edge, but she still knew it and couldn't do a thing to change it. But when the undead man walked in amidst the Potentials Buffy had told her to watch out for with his temper flaring up, she had no choice but to step in. She didn't need to take quite as much pleasure in it as she did, true, but hey, some parts of the job needed to be fun.

"Hey, why don't you take it down a notch or two?" she asked loudly, hands on her hips and a sneer on her lips. "The time for speech giving is over, bad boy."

Spike took the cue and stepped right up, eyes blazing. "Oh, is that right?"

"Yeah, that's right. Save your lack of breath." What could Buffy have _seen_ in this vampire? At least Angel had had some appealing features, but Spike? No... there was nothing except the blind devotion of a dog.

"All right," he growled, throwing a punch to her jaw that she hadn't even seen coming. She reeled back, caught off guard, and caught herself on the counter.

She touched her jaw, it almost hurt, and smirked at him. "You're pretty sweet on her, aren't you?" The look he gave her was a mix of shock and outrage, and he let his guard down enough for her to knock him back. "I think it's cute... the way she's got you whipped." She kicked him again, in the stomach, and there was anger there this time. He still sniffed after Buffy like she was a bitch in heat. Where had he gotten the idea that he could do that? Giles shouted something, but the blood was pounding too loudly in Faith's ears for her to hear. Spike fell over and she was on him in a moment, pounding on his face like he was a punching doll. "She's not yours," she growled once, hitting him right in the throat. "_Never_ yours."

He choked and snarled, throwing Faith off of him. "Not yours either," he panted, fists held up. "You helped kick her out."

"None of your business, now is it?" He turned aside her punch and threw one of his own, but he was angry and couldn't control it, so he missed. Her leer came back and she whispered, "Wasn't you kissing her just the other day, now was it?"

Spike didn't even respond to that. "Where is she?" he demanded.

"I don't know," Faith said honestly. "And even if I did? I wouldn't tell you. She ain't yours to go sniffin' after so you might as well forget it."

"You're disgusting," Spike said, spitting at her feet before turning and walking out.

Giles, or maybe it was Xander, tried to say something to her, but Faith just waved them off, her eyes following Spike as he walked off into the darkness. He was going to find Buffy, but not before she did. "You guys make with the questioning, I've got something I've got to take care of."

"Are you going to kill him?" Xander asked eagerly, his one eye lighting up. "Because if you are, then make it really painful. Guy's been a pain in my ass since the day he walked-"

"I'm not going to kill him," Faith said, rolling her eyes. "Take a chill pill and make with the questions, big guy."

There may have been a love triangle between her, Buffy and Spike at one point in time, had they been around and interested at the same time. But now? When Spike walked into the house Faith tensed up, knowing that something bad was going to go down. The vampire had it bad for Buffy, everyone knew that, she even knew that they had messed around a bit over a year ago. It set the hair on the back of her neck on edge, but she still knew it and couldn't do a thing to change it. But when the undead man walked in amidst the Potentials Buffy had told her to watch out for with his temper flaring up, she had no choice but to step in. She didn't need to take quite as much pleasure in it as she did, true, but hey, some parts of the job needed to be fun.

"Hey, why don't you take it down a notch or two?" she asked loudly, hands on her hips and a sneer on her lips. "The time for speech giving is over, bad boy."

Spike took the cue and stepped right up, eyes blazing. "Oh, is that right?"

"Yeah, that's right. Save your lack of breath." What could Buffy have _seen_ in this vampire? At least Angel had had some appealing features, but Spike? No... there was nothing except the blind devotion of a dog.

"All right," he growled, throwing a punch to her jaw that she hadn't even seen coming. She reeled back, caught off guard, and caught herself on the counter.

She touched her jaw, it almost hurt, and smirked at him. "You're pretty sweet on her, aren't you?" The look he gave her was a mix of shock and outrage, and he let his guard down enough for her to knock him back. "I think it's cute... the way she's got you whipped." She kicked him again, in the stomach, and there was anger there this time. He still sniffed after Buffy like she was a bitch in heat. Where had he gotten the idea that he could do that? Giles shouted something, but the blood was pounding too loudly in Faith's ears for her to hear. Spike fell over and she was on him in a moment, pounding on his face like he was a punching doll. "She's not yours," she growled once, hitting him right in the throat. "_Never_ yours."

He choked and snarled, throwing Faith off of him. "Not yours either," he panted, fists held up. "You helped kick her out."

"None of your business, now is it?" He turned aside her punch and threw one of his own, but he was angry and couldn't control it, so he missed. Her leer came back and she whispered, "Wasn't you kissing her just the other day, now was it?"

Spike didn't even respond to that. "Where is she?" he demanded.

"I don't know," Faith said honestly. "And even if I did? I wouldn't tell you. She ain't yours to go sniffin' after so you might as well forget it."

"You're disgusting," Spike said, spitting at her feet before turning and walking out.

Giles, or maybe it was Xander, tried to say something to her, but Faith just waved them off, her eyes following Spike as he walked off into the darkness. He was going to find Buffy, but not before she did. "You guys make with the questioning, I've got something I've got to take care of."

"Are you going to kill him?" Xander asked eagerly, his one eye lighting up. "Because if you are, then make it really painful. Guy's been a pain in my ass since the day he walked-"

"I'm not going to kill him," Faith said, rolling her eyes. "Take a chill pill and make with the questions, big guy."

There may have been a love triangle between her, Buffy and Spike at one point in time, had they been around and interested at the same time. But now? There was no way she was going to lose the blonde Slayer just because some jumped up vampire with a soul decided that he wanted to play too. It wasn't going to happen.

----------

There were footsteps in the hallway of the house she had taken over, but it didn't really matter. Anything that came in would either be easy for her to handle or too hard for her to handle. Either way there was nothing she could do to change it. "If you're looking for someplace to loot then you'll wanna go about three houses down," she shouted as a suggestion. "They don't even have TAB here, just some Squirt crap." She glared at the yellow can in her hand as though it had offended her and took another drink.

"TAB, right up there with potpourri on the list of what a pad has to have when chosen for a new home," Faith drawled from the doorway, leaning against the frame. "Seriously, blondie, you've chosen a real picker upper here."

Buffy looked at Faith and almost swallowed before she took another swig from the can, wishing that she had been able to find some alcohol. But no, it was better that she hadn't. Old habits could come back far too easily, and she didn't need to sink back into a drunken stupor. "I have great taste for things like that, you might've noticed," she replied, feeling childish enough to through a barb at the brunette.

Faith shrugged and plopped into the chair across from her. "I've noticed," she replied nonchalantly, displaying that knack for not caring that annoyed Buffy even as it made her smile. "Especially with that vamp boy, uhhh, Spike, yeah that's the one. I'd like to put a spike right into him, you get my drift." She mimed a staking, no hint of humor in her dark eyes. "He should be here any minute to grovel at your feet like the whipped pup he is."

"I'm guessing you two aren't much with the liking of each other."

"Not really, no. There was a lot of talking and hitting. Okay, not so much with the talking, but a lot with the hitting."

Buffy smiled faintly at the thought of Faith and Spike going at each other for no real reason. A little voice in the back of her mind piped up, _Could be because they both love you_, but she brushed that aside, not wanting to think about it. "How're the girls?" she asked at last.

"They're teenagers," Faith replied. "They like to make a mess and not clean it up. But we did manage to catch ourselves a Bringer, and I think Willow might've been able to scare some questions out of it. Girl's got some wicked talent on her, B."

_Of course they're doing fine,_ Buffy thought bitterly, looking down at her can of Squirt. _They never really needed me; maybe I was the one who needed them after all..._

"Stop feeling sorry for yourself."

"Excuse you?" Buffy gaped, head snapping back up. "Did you just... no, you couldn't have said that."

"Oh, but I did," Faith replied, dark eyes more serious than Buffy could ever remember seeing them. "You're feeling sorry for yourself over this whole mess. Hell, _I'm_ feeling sorry for you. And for me. I may be a Slayer, but you know, I really wasn't cut out for this leading shit. Let me be the sarcastic rebel in the background and it'll all be five-by-five. But stick me in the driver's seat and I'll tell you flat out that I think you're off your rocker." She stood up and moved over in front of Buffy, leaning down until there was scarcely an inch between them. "You letting me play leader while you skulk out here? I think you're off your rocking horse, B."

Buffy took a deep breath, surprised by the passion and honesty in Faith's voice. Also by the nearness of the other woman, she could feel her breath on her skin and all it would take was the slightest move forward to be kissing her... Part of her wanted to so badly, just for the quenching it would bring, while another wanted it because this was Faith and she meant so very much to her. Instead she said, "I can't just come back after leaving like I did. They don't want me."

"So _make_ them want you," Faith growled, banging her hand against the arm of the chair. "Damnit, B, if there's ever been a girl who can get people to do what they never thought they would then it's you. You've never been one to just roll over and play dead, you need to get back up on your feet and show them you're the boss!"

"Do you really think all that?" Buffy asked, tilting her head a little.

Faith nodded. "Course I do. Else I wouldn't have dragged my ass back here from prison and then ran all over this hellhole to find you before that pup of a vamp did."

"But why?" Buffy pressed, feeling a bit of a wall crumble away. She wanted, needed even, to know why Faith of all people believed in her. If she could then anyone could, plain and simple.

"You know, I spent a lot of time thinkin' about that one while I was in the slammer," Faith replied, tapping a finger against her lips. "And the best answer I ever came up with was that you're the better leader. You're the better person. You've never done what I did, probably never would. You're afraid, 'cause you don't wanna make a mistake. Me, I'm afraid 'cause I don't want to look bad in _your_ eyes. You were to born to lead and me, well, I was born only 'cause you died, and I'd follow you into my grave with a smile on my face and guns blazin'. Need me to keep going or have you got it?"

Buffy swallowed hard, blinking away the tears that had formed. "Faith..." she whispered, touching the brunette's cheek gently. There was nothing Buffy could say to express how much it meant to her to hear those words from Faith's lips, but there was something she could do. She leaned up and kissed Faith as gently as she had touched her, lips pressing together in a crush of heat and velvet that sent her head reeling. "You remember that letter you sent me?"

"I do," Faith sounded a little out of breath, a spark of amazement in her eyes.

"You remember when I visited you in the prison?"

Faith squeezed her eyes shut, as though against the memory, and looked down. Buffy knew it had to have been painful, she had even cried when she walked out. "I do."

Buffy put her hand under Faith's chin and forced the other Slayer to look at her. "Maybe I always have... or maybe I haven't," she said softly, her green eyes earnest. "I honestly don't know what all it's been. But Faith, I do know something."

"What?"

"You are one hell of a good kisser."

There was a moment of silence before Faith let out a mock-growl and threw herself at Buffy, wrestling her right out of the chair and across the room to the bed. They wrestled for a couple of minutes before Faith pinned Buffy down, wrists held above her head with one hand. "I've got you," Faith purred, leaning down to kiss Buffy thoroughly. "And I'd have the rest of you it weren't for the fact that I'm dog tired."

Buffy smiled and kissed Faith on the forehead. "Then go to sleep," she suggested, snuggling up against the brunette Slayer's side. "Here, with me. Just leave in the morning."

"You're alright with that?" Faith asked, sounding a little concerned. Buffy nodded and in a flash, Faith had kissed her and fallen asleep. She really had been exhausted.

Buffy, on the other hand, wasn't so lucky. Her eyes fixed on the brightness of the yellow Squirt can, which had somehow made it into the bedroom, as she realized that she hadn't really told Faith what she had meant to. And Faith hadn't said a word about it. There weren't a lot of people like that in the world, and Buffy knew that she was lucky to have one sleeping beside her.

Even if it still was so damn hard to let her in.


End file.
